Why gift?

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by CDLevit, Dec 24, 2017.

  1. CDLevit

    CDLevit Aspiring water; spark of cynicism; Em&es explorer.

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    Today, while listening to a podcast on radio, I've heard that, most often, 'small nothing' are given when gifting and that, from the economy's point of view, gifts aren't satisfying needs as they should.

    That made me wonder,

    1. at what do you pay attention when buying a gift for someone else?
    2. at what do you pay attention when you receive a gift?
    3. would you refuse a gift?
    4. would you offer money as a gift?
    5. at what occasions would you offer a gift?
    6. is the 'offering' of gifts a paternalizing habit ? like 'when you offer something to a inferior social category, like a kid, in fact, most often, just a fulfillment of obligations/social norms and not something really meant from the heart' - like that case when you offer something like a book to a kid who, in fact, wanted something else.
    7. other things
     
  2. yotae

    yotae Drunkard Emperor

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    I don't like "surprise" gift, i prefere to talk to the the person i offer the gift before going to buy it. And if it's not really too expensive i don't care for the price. I will not refuse a gift, and i also like giving money it's more simple.
     
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  3. Tiber Winter

    Tiber Winter Owl-sama Follower

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    money is usually the most efficient gift
     
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  4. Estarossa

    Estarossa 《Master of Dessert》How about a round of Gwent?

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    If you dont know what a person would like, give em money so they can buy it themselves.
     
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  5. Fluffums

    Fluffums 【R-18 Researcher】【Seeker of Moe】

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    It's not a good idea to give people things they need (... as a "gift"). They won't appreciate it.
    It would take too much effort to explain, so I'll give a simple example:
    Would it make you happier to receive: a basic, healthy meal? or a delicious slice of cake?
     
  6. Lewisking50

    Lewisking50 Voidseeker, King of literally nothing

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    1. The only thing I think about when buying a gift is wether the person would like it and if I can afford it.
    2. Wether it could be or is useful, entertaining or tasty.
    3. No.
    4. Yes.
    5. Birthday and Christmas
    6. No. I give my parents gifts as well, even when I was younger, was mostly self-made stuff though.
    7. Just be happy to receive gifts and enjoy the feeling of brightening another's day with your gifts.
     
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  7. Avrnea

    Avrnea Well-Known Member

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    basic healthy meal~ coz a delicious slice of cake would just make me sad coz.. it's just a slice.. >.<
     
  8. King0Mik

    King0Mik 【An Actual Idiot】

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    I live in the US. I'm going to assume your gifting thing is referring to like holidays where we give gifts?
    1. Your wording is a little confusing. If you're asking when I would pay attention to what I gift, it would be for someone close to me or someone I care about.
    2. This wording is also confusing. Uhm... you just receive the gift...? I don't really follow...
    3. Uhm... I'll accept gifts, assuming they aren't severely detrimental to me. If I don't like it, I probably won't use it and will either leave it laying around or get rid of it at some point. For example, I'm a girl, and I don't really like jewelry that much, so when I get it, it's usually just laying around somewhere...
    4. Money is generally okay as a gift for someone you don't know that well. Generally, where I live, people will give gift cards instead of actual cash though.
    5. Where I live, you generally give gifts at Christmas (though you are expected to give a gift in return usually), on a person's birthday, or at baby showers and weddings (to the couple). I suppose you might give a gift on Valentine's Day, but it's usually chocolates or a card.
    6. Uhm, gifts can be given between like friends, too. It's not just parents... But for Christmas, generally, children will make a "wish list" (and generally it's to Santa Claus, supposing the kid believes in him), and the parents can look at that (because they are "sending it to Santa" for the kid). As for birthdays, I think the kid might be able to ask for something? I don't think I've really gotten anything I didn't want for my birthdays as a kid. Even as a kid, you may receive birthday presents from friends, especially if you have a birthday party (where guests are generally expected to provide a gift).
     
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  9. Ratatoskr

    Ratatoskr [Aruruu's proud dad] [The False Gentleman]

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    For gifts usually i just bought things they can use in their daily life or consumables.
    I don't give out money because, for one thing, the recipients most of the time are family and friends. Giving them money is just insincere.
    I use this word a lot "sincerity". That is most important to me.
     
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  10. Fluffums

    Fluffums 【R-18 Researcher】【Seeker of Moe】

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    The cake's a lie anyway.
     
  11. chencking

    chencking [Daolord Grammar Nazi]

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    That "believing in Santa" bit sure is nostalgic. I remember some jaded kid spoiled it for me way back in preschool, not to mention I later caught my parents going late-night shopping. I forgot there was a period I believed until now, hahaha
     
  12. chencking

    chencking [Daolord Grammar Nazi]

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    1. If it looks fun and it's cheap enough
    2. If it looks interesting. As long as it has a use, I'll probably try it someday. Probably.
    3. Why would you?
    4. No. If the receiver really hates my gift, they can return it to wherever I bought it for a refund. At least I tried to find something they may enjoy. And if I made the gift myself, well screw them. Not liking it is one thing, but trying to cash it in (presumably) knowing the effort I put in?
    5. I'm not going to be gifting anybody (although I have sometimes slapped together something cheap for family) until I have a reliable income that I'm comfortable spending on luxuries, but mostly birthdays, christmas, and especially bar mitzvahs and bat mitzvahs.
    6. Not for me, it isn't. You should gift something fun. If I gift a book, it means I liked the book and think the other person will enjoy it too, or I want them to try it out as well.
    7. other things:
    Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
    Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

    Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
    Thrice is the charm
     
    Last edited: Dec 24, 2017
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  13. CDLevit

    CDLevit Aspiring water; spark of cynicism; Em&es explorer.

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    They won't appreciate it? I'm not sure about that, in a way, that gift would be of help to them to improve their life and to ease their problems/difficulties.

    What would make me happier to receive? Both. I'm the kind of person who's looking at the intent behind the gift more than at the value or at the nature of the gift.

    I think that, in some cases, it's of little importance what you've received as a gift. What matters, at least for me, is to see that the person thoght at me and that my desires, wishes, personality, tastes were taken into consideration, that that person, even though, maybe gifted me only a "Merry Christmas" told that to me in a particular way, for example, by using an electronic postcard. To sum up, that my existence an presence mattered and that I wasn't just 'any other person'.

    There are different kinds/types of gifts, for example those that are given due to social obligations/habits, or those that are given out of politness or habits, like when you are eating something and ask someone if he/she wants a slice.

    But, even if the gifts were given out of interest, we can't really ignore their existence. Like.. for example, when a company offers gifts to an orphanage just to look better in the eyes of others/their clients. The gift do exists, it's supposed to be legal (even if the moral aspect may be brought into discussion), serves a good cause and is of help to some people, no?

    Well, let's suppose that you want to buy a gift for someone. Would you pay attention to it's quality (the one of the gift)? Would you pay attention to the brand, to it's price? At what would you pay attention? Would you want the gift to reveal the care that you've had when you've choosed it or.. would you buy whatever you'll find and it's of little or no importance for you if the person who'll receive it will like it or not?

    Would you appreciate the fact that someone decided to gift something to you or... will you disagree with that and think: "Why does that person gifted me this, does he/she thinks that I can't afford that or that...?" - something like that, those are just some examples.
     
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  14. jossy48

    jossy48 Well-Known Member

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    1) When buying a gift i consider, what would be most usable. I tend to believe gifts should have a purpose and need. Don't just buy a shirt or tie, just because u have to buy a gift, but because the shirt or tie has a meaning to the receiver.
    2) When i receive a gift i pay attention to the detail. That means whether the buyer actually bought it as a duty or wanted to buy it because the gift connected with me. It basically shows how much the buyer knows about me.
    3) I do refuse gifts depending on the culture or individual's mindset. For example, for some people if you receive their gifts, now its not about a gift, but about you owing them back.
    4) I do not offer money. I find it offensive and invasive. It makes me feel like i am buying someone or just not caring about the individual= why should i buy a gift for this individual?
    5) I offer gifts depending on the connection/kindship i have with someone, not because of holiday or birthdays or anything
    6) That is why i don't buy anything if that is the case. For example, when you travel back to a country you should bring gifts to the people/family who you will see regardless of whether actually knowing them or, not seeing them in years. I never buy it. I find it it feeds into the fake obligations that are formed within cultures and creates a social discomfort within family and friends. For example, you will be judged for what you gave and brought back regardless of the financial struggle you went through in order to buy something for everyone.
     
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  15. Jarrow

    Jarrow Well-Known Member

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    Midwestern, Middleclass American, so:
    Close Family: Sh!t-ton of expensive crap ($$$) you hope they might like. More quantity for single digit ages Fewer, more expensive for older folks.
    Distant Family and Close Friends: $$ to low-$$$ single gifts that have some kind of meaning.
    Distant Friends, Co-workers, Bosses-I-Like: Low $$ single present, unless negotiated otherwise. Possible regift or gag present.
    Bosses-I-Don't-Like: FRUITCAKE. MUHAHAHAHAHAHA . . . . : }
     
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  16. King0Mik

    King0Mik 【An Actual Idiot】

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    Really depends on who I'm gifting for. If it's for someone I know well, I will try to get them something they like, but not too expensive (i.e. like under 100 USD I would say).
    If it's for someone I don't really know, I'll at least try to gift them something they might use like nice soaps or perhaps general items, but more on the higher quality side.

    I always appreciate gifts. If it's not really something I'd use, I'll tell them, so they know next time, but I will still accept the gift. Generally, it's not really their fault that I don't like it; they didn't know, so I can't really blame them. I'd even be happy with just general life items because it'll save me the cost and time of getting it myself (I'm cheap lol).
    I'm generally a little apprehensive about accepting surprise gifts because then, I feel like I need to give them something in return. I'm personally not fond of surprises.
     
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