True. I cant even imagine the pain of knowing the pain and suffering even death of someone you love was caused by you.. and ml experienced it 3 times. However, i still think that he didnt do enough to save the mc in first lifetime. I dont think killing her is his only option.. idk im a bit complicated with the ml, i pity him but also feel like he deserves the pain he suffered.
Thanks for the spoilers, everyone! I'm slowly making my way through the MTL of this story, which actually is pretty understandable using a combination of the raws + google translate and some chapters in MTLNovel.com. (I actually think the MTLNovel chapters are the best but sadly, after about chapter 74 when poor Song Luan FINALLY dies after many chapters of poison-induced torture, the chapters start to repeat in wrong order, making me rely on the less understandable raws). And wow, this story is really a tragedy lover's buffet! I actually appreciate how well written it is, even through MTL, and how much care the author took in depicting just why and how Zhao Nanyun went from hating his wife to obsessively loving her. Although Song Luan sometimes irritates me, I can see why he'd fall so deeply for her -- she really has a kind of combination of cunning and charm that is endearing, especially once she stops being so afraid of him and starts being willing to tease and needle him from. Their interactions once she's finally started getting saucy can actually be charming! And wow, the sex scenes are actually really hot and sexy, although very vague... that one sex scene where she's angry at him, he wants her but doesn't want to see her eyes spitting venom at him, and so he blind-folds her to have his way with her was... ummmm.... ::blush:: That said, around chapter 70 when she finally dies, her death scene is honestly incredibly harrowing. Seeing him bitterly regret his poisoning of her when there's no way left to save her, seeing her beg him for mercy so she's finally put out of her misery, and seeing him refusing to leave her body once she's finally* dead was just -- damn. Hard-core misery city... and I was here for it! I loved bathing in the ML's suffering! *Okay, we all know she's not TRULY dead. She comes back to her "normal life" body for a while before meeting the weird taoist monk in a dream, realizing she's the reincarnation of a princess who was killed by the ML in an earlier life, and getting resurrected yet AGAIN into the continuing storyline where her first "self" died. Kinda weird but hey, at least it gives a reason for her to encounter him again... And I gotta say, I have a weird sneaky sympathy for Zhao Nanyu (the yandere ML). Although he's basically the mayor of Crazy Yandere Town, once this man falls in love, he falls HARD. Unlike some slag husbands (cough - Ning Yuxuan of Dreamer in the Spring Budoir - cough), he does not EVER betray Song Luan for another woman once he becomes interested in her. He basically yeets the would-be female lead (who he is "supposed" to be with) as soon as he encounters her and kills/whips two would-be concubines that his family tries to gift him with. He is 10000% committed to Song Luan and while I certainly don't envy her (seriously, this bish is CRAZY and waaaaay too damn posessive), it's nice to see a devoted man in these harem novel genres. Even if he's a little too... devoted sometimes, hah!
I visited this spoiler thread once again. I honestly really admire Zhao Nanyu's clear devotion towards Song Luan. I'm not yet finished translating this, but damn this is the first novel I read where I can sympathize with both sides. *sighs* Zhao Nanyu loves her so much but was shackled by his mistakes, and Song Luan who tries to love him but can't get way past because of his actions. My heart is really hurting. I wish the Taoist can just remove both of their memories...so this RomeoxJuliet-fate-like couple can start fresh again.