Discussion Wuxia World "Official" Translations are Not Of Quality

Discussion in 'Novel General' started by smileyface, Jun 8, 2017.

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  1. Action

    Action Well-Known Member

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    I know you are getting a lot of bashing, but I think you brought up a really good point that has to do with not just translating, but writing in general. Before you can ask, "how do you translate tone?", you have to first ask "how do you convey tone?".

    For your first example, you are trying to convey a warning, which carries a serious tone. If it's more serious, I would avoid using contractions. Instead of saying "you'll" or "weren't", it would be better to say "you will" or "were not". Also, you could consider using "one" instead of "you" as the pronoun if the speaker is extremely formal.

    Though Chinese doesn't have italics, you can use italics to change tone in English.
    - "I don't love you."
    - "I don't love you."

    Of course, word choices are a huge part of conveying tone. Do you use "nada" or "none"? Do you use "Gosh darn" or "Goddammit"? Do you have short sentences or string them into one?

    Anyway, there's a lot more to be said about tone. I think that before translating tone, it is important to know the basic tricks of how to convey it in the first place.
     
    Action, Jun 8, 2017
    #161
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  2. Parth37955

    Parth37955 NU #3, [Dead Inside], Mid-Boss, Dark Dealer Staff Member

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    Yeah that will summon us. Our mod senses tingle.
    Idk maybe in class learning how to be a CNA....

    @smileyface as fairly evident the thread has become enflamed. I'm locking it.

    PS. Also damnit guys, I'm just trying to enjoy my sandwich.
     
    Parth37955, Jun 8, 2017
    #162
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  3. Parth37955

    Parth37955 NU #3, [Dead Inside], Mid-Boss, Dark Dealer Staff Member

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    Btw, here's the OP's explanation
    1.
    其中包含的记忆、经验、情绪这些东西，是一点都碰不得的，假如吸收了，轻则变成白痴、人格分裂，重则精神暴涨脑子撑破而亡。”
    —> {“For example, you will be unable to touch the included memories, experiences, and emotions, and even if you did absorb them, there is a high chance that you will instantly become mentally crippled , your personality will develop split versions of itself, your consciousness will collapse, and your brain will ultimately burst, leading to your death.}

    The original sentence was meant to be a warning, and thus the correct translation should be something along the lines of “You should not touch the memories, experiences, and emotions included within. If you absorbed them and you lucked out, you'll just become an idiot or someone with a split personality, but if you weren't so lucky then your brain will explode out of sheer mental pressure".

    The hint is in “是一点都碰不得的”， which is written in the passive form in slight exaggeration.

    2. 全身黑色毛发外层散发着淡淡的紫色光晕，一双眼睛之中金光吞吐，眼神灵动，盯视着唐舞麟和舞长空，似乎因为被发现而显得有些愕然。
    -> {A shimmering purple aura surrounded its body as it stared at Tang Wulin and Wu Zhangkong with bright topaz eyes, incredulity on its face. }

    Some stuffs has been removed in the original translation.
    "The black fur covering the gorrila gave off a faint shimmering purple aura, and it's bright intelligent topaz eyes stared fixedly at Tang Wu Lin. It seemed to feel a little incredulous at being discovered.

    3. 我等此举虽无意打扰了阁下清修，但杀人偿命，天经地义
    -> "Even though we have inadvertently disturbed this distinguished one’s cultivation, our mission was to bring a murderer to justice as it is the right and proper thing to do"

    The tone is condescending instead of being explanatory, given by how they use the chained sentence, 杀人偿命，天经地义, instead of a connecting preposition.
    "Even though we have inadvertently disturbed this distinguished one’s cultivation, bringing a murderer to justice is the completely right and proper thing to do."
     
    Parth37955, Jun 8, 2017
    #163
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