Heyy! I'm still getting used to this forum, but while I'm still poking around, here's my original work! It's heavy into light novel and anime meta, but with a slightly more anxious kind of commentary. ZERO VISIBLE Synopsis: What would an anime be like from the perspective of a background character? From birth, Reikawa Yuuya has had the ability to see the character arcs of the people around him, an ability passed down through his family. Combined with his extremely low presence, Yuuya is in the perfect position to be an observer in countless stories. The thing is, though, the humans in this city aren't people. Not to him. And he's afraid of what they're becoming. Genre: Psychological drama, Action, Supernatural, Shounen Setting: Hi-tech modern Table Of Contents: (on Wordpress) - Prologue - Chapter 1: The Story of Reikawa Yuuya - Chapter 2: Elimination Process - Chapter 3: Loner Anxiety - Chapter 4: Malcontent - Chapter 5: Violence ...>> Art and writing both by me.
Really??? I actually have a lot of trouble writing in past tense, all the action comes out droll and awkward. Descriptions and emotional responses just come out more fluidly in present tense for me.
Though I'll admit, that isn't really "new". I had a discussion about it with a friend a while back, and he said it's becoming increasingly popular with new writers. that's basically the extent of what I know. also, 50 shades of grey, I think? though I'm not sure if that qualifies as literature.
Hmm. That's a little different though... Because it's first person, the present tense makes sense. Sorry, I should have been more clear. Is 50 Shades of Grey in third person narration?
Is 3rd person present tense really so perplexing that you have to debate it in someone's story discussion thread...?
I should probably have seen what you meant since I read the story, but to my defense I was really sleepy. and no, 50 shades does not have third person narration. however, the Wake series by Lisa Mcmann does. did pretty well too, I think. well, it sticks out. I think the main reason people don't use present tense the way you do is because it usually creates a disconnect with the reader. estelion calling it a bold choice isn't wrong, I think. I do like your story, though. did I not say that? I read everything available, which is a rare feat from me when I'm sleepy. interesting concept, and the humor is right up my alley. how you delve a bit into how his family has dealt with it, and how he feels so disconnected from humanity is also rather intriguing. I also really enjoy the art. you say you did it yourself? reminds me a bit of some penny arcade stuff. other than that, I don't have enough material to give you any constructive criticism.
Not perplexing just... different? It's really not something I see too often. Not that it's bad, just... yeah. I guess because of my experiences, your story reads like a play script or the planning outline for a narrative rather than an actual narrative.
https://zerovisible.wordpress.com/2016/03/26/chapter-4-the-story-of-natori-riho/ Chapter 4 is out! And the heroine is introduced properly. I also went back and edited the inconsistent prose. A lot of the work I did was just piddling about because I wasn't sure what direction I needed to work in, and I got a basic structure down now. Shouldn't be much change story-wise, beyond a small reference to Yuuya's relationship with his brother in chapter 3.
Hey, so I scrapped the established chapters, because I hated where it was going and was about to deadlock myself into setting up a protagonist who hasn't exhibited any compelling behaviour a reader would like to see challenged and a narrative overly fond of telling you what you're supposed to think about the situation, and I couldn't take it anymore. I addressed this in tighter detail here, but basically, Yuuya is really boring and confusing and a story where everything is just told to you is the most boring possible concept. I've gotten chapters 2/5 done so far! They are actually going by pretty fast once I decided to be a bit more episodic.
Chapter 3: Loner Anxiety is out! Starring: Yuuya's PTSD, with special guest star Unresolved Anger Issues. Since the mood is obviously heading to a darker note, I'll be working on changing the site's overall theme. So far I've only changed the character page, though. ;^9
Agh, messing the art and website confused me, I forgot to post for chapter 4. So, along with a new illustration for the website's cover, a new banner, and an updated character page, there's two new chapters! Yuuya cries a lot in these updates, but he's very physically brittle and almost certainly has PTSD. I know I cry when I get severely hurt or strangled with unresolvable stress. :^V