Hey guys! Raidou99 here! I have started writing a novel named: the end and a new beginning, with the pen name VASH_ist! NOTICE: the name has been changed. It is now, Chronicles of a former God - the lives of Vince and Remus! I will be uploading approximately 1 chapter per week. Synopsis : What will happen when Remus, a highschool sophomore, a guy who has spent his whole life reading books and learning martial arts, finds out that he shares his soul with the the 3rd prince of a kingdom in another world and has to exchange worlds with his in order to save that world! What will happen when Vince Argent, the 3rd prince of Mavok kingdom who ran away from the castle at the age of 10 and harbours way too many secrets, has to exchange worlds with Remus in order to save the life of the only person he cares about! Tags : action, adventure, comedy, reincarnation, romance, transported to another world, male lead, strong male lead, multiple pov, unique skills, sword and magic, level system. U can also read the novel on royalroadl using this link: https://royalroadl.com/fiction/12855/chronicles-of-a-former-god-the-lives-of-vince Please like, comment and share!
Prologue Lamkas. A planet like no other. From the countless planets forming in the universe every second, this planet was special and the reason for that was, it was the sole devourer. Meaning that it was the only planet in the universe that rather than trying to maintain harmony with everthing around it and coexist, devoured everything that came near it! Now we ask ourselves two question, why did Lamkas do that and what happened to everything it devoured? Lamkas was one of the first planets that came into existence. It was at the perfect distance from a bright star, had plenty of water, a perfectly functional atmosphere and an abundance of natural resources. Everything necessary to sustain life! But strangely enough, rather than waiting to meet the right conditions for the beginning of life, this world developed it's own consciousness. Then it began devouring everything in it's surrounding and converted it into a special form of energy that later came to be known as mana. When it had collected enough mana, the consciousness used that mana and took form of two intellectual beings. These beings had predetermined functions, one was the creator and the other was the customizor and destroyer. In the course of the next millions of years, these beings used mana to create, modify and destroy numerous life forms. In a sense, this was their trial and error period. Finally, they were able to create an ecosystem that complemented every being it consisted of. And in a those years, the two being that made all this possible developed personalities and so did all of their creations. Countless plant and animal life forms lived on lamkas. The ones who took dominance were the animal. They were curious and aggressive while the plants were calm and usually laid dormant. The animals with more intellect thrived even more. They developed language, culture, started hunting other animals for food, made shelters to protect themselves from the harsh weather, started farming and rearing of animals for more foods and other resources and invented new ways for a better living. And in all those phases, the two beings that made all of them were there, making new life forms, modifying them in ways that benefitted the planet and eliminating anything that was deemed harmful. Then came a time when the two beings decided to stop their work and let nature take its course. They wondered, what would happen if they stopped creating and interfering with the flow of the world for some time? The only problem was that for the beings who had been living for millions of years, 'some time' was a really really long time! They decided to take the forms of the most intellectual animals and go on a 'vacation' that never came to an end! For the next thousands of years, they interacted with and supported these animals due to which these animals, especially the bipedal kind, flourished. Living with these animals affected the two beings as well. Their personalities became more complex and they learned the meaning of the term relationship and naturally formed a relationship of brothers between themselves. The creator who named himself Aur became the big brother and the customizor who named himself Argent became the little brother. Fairies, elves, dwarves, dragons, spirits and many other races came to call these two brothers 'Gods'. Eventually Aur fell in love with a member of the dragonewts and married her. The race that was born from their copulation, received the name demons. The little brother got married to a member of the elf community and the race they gave birth to, received the name humans. Later Aur and Argent, as gods, taught these races a lot of things. The most important of them being, magic. They invented class, levels and skill systems to help these races evolve even further. They ruled them for thousands of years. But every story has a sad phase! In the end, the two brothers fought. Fought a battle with life and death at stake. At the end of their fight, they both received grievous injuries. Aur slipped into a period of recovery sleep while Argent who was afraid of his brother's swift recovery, tore his soul in two and sent one part to another world for recovery and maintained the other in lamkas. This is the story, of the lives and adventures of the two souls that once made Argent, of what caused the two brothers who were once inseparable to fight and of the lives of the people around them! This is the story of 'the end and a new beginning'!
It's okay, some other user also post their novel in here and RRL/other websites. Just don't post only link here
We have a thing called Community Fictions here on NUF where we can publish our works. If you happen to be interested in writing a book in the future, you can just publish it there to see if people like it. After that, I dunno, maybe post it on RoyalRoadL or something?
I see. . . . As for what i think of it. I think it is very interesting. I think it is the only novel ive read that explained the origin of mana (probably). Theres a few typos here and there but the grammar is good. Keep up the good work and ill also check in on your rrl account!!
Is it too hard to think of a name that is not "end and the beginning" or something extremely close to it ? God damn, whenever someone writes an isekai novel, it's either the novels name or the first chapters name. Be a bit original for gods sake
The premise is nice. I like the idea how instead of the original person dying, he gets to exchange bodies with the MC instead. I don't know if you will include it, or if you will even continue writing until that point, but I love the idea of an arrogant and used to being strong prince being sent to Earth and is getting wasted because of the weak bodies we earthlings have as opposed to the ones on his original planet where people cultivate. Which reminds me of one thing, and that is this planet, as opposed to the usual unexplained/other dimension/alternate earth, it's a faraway planet on our universe. Going back to the prince, I would really like to see him have a high school romcom instead of xianxia-modern earth ver., but he can be super strong in fighting because of experience, wrecking bullies, young masters, gangsters, and dogs alike. Oh, and you can have the actual MC have a typical xianxia story I guess..... I dunno, not much to say here. The world building is interesting. I like the way how the animals are the dominant beings and the plants are usually submissive. You can have it as a plot drive in the future, plants and elves planning to take over the world or something. The writing is not the best. I can see great ideas, but the writing is somewhat lacking. The pacing is somewhat without pause. The sentence structure is kinda a bit off. It's not the best right now, but I'm sure this will improve in the future as you continue to write. In conclusion, it's a great story with potential, although I can't really say much as of now. Please do take note that although some people can suggest, they are never the ones to decide. You don't have to take my words too seriously, I tried writing novels for 3 times now, but I always cringe at the first sentence. I'm still waiting for the day where I can write novels just like you too!
I would gladly skip this prologue and see if the following chapters are getting better. I mean, elder brother's descendants are demons and younger brother's descendants are humans? What a foreshadowing. There's conveniently same naming like mana and magic in far away planet... Look, I'm not saying that this is bad or anything, but I'd rather not be bothered with awkward backstory and getting straight to the present story. I think the idea of creator and customizer and destroyer is too interesting to be wasted.
To clarify, i won't be portraying demons as evil and humans as good Spoiler: Spoiler it might be the opposite later on(maybe) It says, they were named 'demons' and 'humans'. Nothing more to it! And thanks for your impression. If u have any other query, u can pass me a message!
Thanks for the feedback! The writing was fast paced because i was trying to cram as much world building in the prologue as possible, to pique your interest! Later chapters will be better paced and well thought. Also, plz notify if u observe any grammatical mistakes, because i don't have an editor!
Thanks for your feedback! You see, i don't have an editor, so if there are any mistakes, plz point them out! I'd be really grateful! I will be posting a new chapter every friday. Hope for ur extended support for the series! Ty
HARSH!!?!? But thanks for your feedback! I tried you know! I didn't wanna give it a cheesy sounding name like ultimate god this or saving the world that! So i gave it a name that was simple, easy to remember and could actually be realted to the novel!
" Ok, i am going now. Take care of yourself." Remus said before leaving. He heard a faint reply before closing the door. " 'take care of yourself as well' huh, i don't think you are in a condition to worry about others sis. " He mumbled. He wasn't in a good mood today. The reason for that was that today was the monthly physical examination. He never did like going to school but the thing he hated the most was this, the day on which they conducted the physical examination for all the students in school. It wasn't like he didn't like people looking at his body, he didn't mind that at all. Correction, he did hate it a little bit. The reason being, for a sophomore in high school Remus was a bit too fit. He had a perfectly toned body, a tall height and a handsome looking face. So, whenever he took his clothes off, the looking the nearby crowd gave him varied greatly. The looks the girls gave were mostly positive. He could see interest, curiosity, affection and even the desire to flirt in their eyes. Even the female medical examiner had a strange look in her eyes. Looking into them made him feel as if she wanted to eat him whole! But the problem started with the boys. He could feel jealously, envy and hate from their eyes and expressions. He could somehow understand and to a level, even manage to handle their feelings but the one person he could not manage was the P. E. teacher. Apparently, he liked the aforementioned medical examiner and the expression he made whenever he saw her giving Remus a flirtatious gaze, gave Remus the impression that he had made Remus his arch nemesis a long time ago. But even that was not the main reason Remus hated this day. The reason he hated this day was the other half of the physical examination. The part where they tested a person's physical abilities. And the reason for 'that' was a bit twisted and complicated. He usually skipped school on these days. The city planetarium, museums and other interesting places were more important than showing off how strong or fast you were in his opinion. Today however, he decided to spend a bit of time in solitude. He left his apartment and started walking down the street. With a school bag on his shoulder, he walked at a slow pace. After a bit of time and a few turns, he reached an abandoned building. Entering the building, he took a flight of stairs and started walking towards the roof. The building was an unfinished hotel. The owner was caught and put in jail for the smuggling of illegal drugs, the builder, after losing the source of capital decided to leave the building unfinished. Remus found this building a few months after shifting to this neighborhood and it had become his usual place for hanging out ever since. Whenever he felt like being alone, he would visit this place. " This place is as dirty as ever. Well i guess i can't blame others for that since i am probably the only one who visits this place and even i don't bother with the cleaning. " Reaching the roof, he looked around and grumbled. The only reason he liked this place, was because nobody else came here. Finishing his thoughts, he started cleaning a part of the ground. After he was done cleaning, he laid on the ground and using his school bag as a pillow, started napping. After taking a satisfying nap, he opened his eyes. But the scene in front of his eyes was different, totally different from the one he saw before he closing them. A white room. No, a white area? As far as his eyes allowed him, he could see nothing but white. There was nothing else in this area but him, even his school bag was gone. " haaaaa, fuuuuuu, haaaa, fuuuuu" He took a few deep breaths and tried calming his mind. After a few seconds, he cleared his mind and started thinking of reasons for being in this place and situation. " Something happened while I was sleeping. Somebody did something to me while i was sleeping or maybe it's just a dream or maybe.... " He got up and started jumping. After a few jumps, he started running and after that, he started hitting himself in different places. After a few more actions, he had cleared most of the reasons and was only left with three. " No, this is not a dream. I have a bit too much thought control for that. Even before, whenever i was dreaming and realized that I was, i would always wake up moments later, but no matter what i do, i don't get the feeling i had all those times and.. " With a bit more reasoning, he cleared the thought of this being a dream. " I don't think somebody drugged or hypnotised me either. I have total control of my thought and body processes and am one of those people who are nearly impossible to hypnotize. " Remus was a loner. So most if his time was spent on physical training, martial arts and reading books. In all the books and research papers he read about how drugs worked and what they did to the brain, he had read many scientific finding and countless patient testimonies and all of them summarized that he couldn't possibly be in so much control of his senses if he was drugged. And as far as hypnosis goes, he had once visited a seminar by professionals, on hypnotism and its medical benefits. When the head of the seminar had called for a volunteer, he had raised his hand. It began with a low level technique, but seeing as it didn't work, the professional had tried almost everything he know, to hypnosis and put Remus to sleep. But in the end, he had failed and told Remus and the audience that he couldn't find the right conditions. After the end of the show, that professional who was apparently named Matt had told Remus that he was one of those few people who were near impossible to hypnotize and looking into his curiosity filled eyes, he had offered to teach Remus about real hypnotism. Remus, who loved unraveling the mysteries of the human mind, had immediately taken up the offer and had learned everything Matt could teach him in the next few months, that too, in his spare time. In their last meeting, Matt had told him that he was a genius in this field and looking at his execution and technique, he could even hypnotise Matt, who was a world renowned hypnotist himself. From all those experiences, Remus could tell that he had not been hypnotised in his sleep. " then am i..... " He couldn't complete the sentence, or maybe he didn't want to. Because the last reason he could come up with was, death!
He's got a point though, I don't think the current title would manage well in google search. A unique title name makes it easier to search.
Announcement! Looking at all these comments and after much consideration, i have decided to change the name of this novel! From now on! You peasants shall call this novel: chronicles of a former God- the lives of Vince and Remus! Buhuhahahhahahah buhuhahahahaha!!!