Journal#5 (Too Much?)

I planned to write about my cookies yet here I am posting a blog about a novel I've just completed.

So...

Wth is wrong with cn novels? Sometimes I can't fathom why they are so extreme when it comes to jealousy between parents and child (in many novels: father-son)

I think they are mostly written for the cuteness or the romance part (?) but I swear that it's very overused and some are just extra cringe. Like a bowl of chocolate ice cream added with cookies crumb, chocolate brownies, pieces of chocolate, three spoons of Nutella, and five more squeezes of chocolate sauce. They taste good at first but you will struggle to finish it.

Okay, for the novel. Instead of harmless jealousy, it makes me scared of the FL instead. She has a jealousy towards her daughter because she took a great chunk of ML's time. Which I can understand! Quality time matters, and who wouldn't get upset if they could not get the time they want?

"She stopped crying whenever (ML) hugged her."

And her jealousy was also quite fueled by her friend's remark who said that a daughter is a father's lover in the past life. It made FL got pissed towards her daughter.

One day, FL and ML were talking when an earthquake struck and ML immediately princess carried FL outside. FL then remembered that her daughter was still inside and she told ML which caused him to be surprised/panicked but fortunately their daughter's nanny picked her up.

Also, her baby daughter (I'm sure the baby had not even entered kindergaten yet) was crying out of fear at the same time she (FL) was still trembling out of fear. ML felt conflicted and he chose FL to be comforted which again, can be understood and still makes sense to me.

BUT I REALLY CAN'T BEAR IT WHEN FL MONOLOGUE SAID THAT SHE WAS RELIEVED THAT ML CHOSE HER INSTEAD OF THE DAUGHTER.

"(Friend) was wrong, Miao Miao may be loved (?) but I'm still (ML)'s favourite and no one can replace me, not even Miao Miao..."

She sounds like a psycho in that chapter.

Now that I'm typing about it, it occurred to me that maybe FL actually got baby blues? Their family were supportive, ML was definitely not a jerk, she had nice friends, but could it be that she was not ready to be a mother yet?

Fyi, I think my rough summary tone it down for her. I think the raw actually has it worse. She made me felt chill on my spines. I would not be surprised if one day she threw away her daughter in a wasteland. I was even wondering if she would snap one day and kill her daughter. I was even shocked by the thought that maybe, if her child died in the earthquake, she might secretly celebrate it..

I'm not saying that you should kill yourself for your child. But being happy or 'relieved' even though (or that) your child is about to die or may die is beyond...ruthless?

I may be overanalyzing.

I may be too sensitive.

I may be the one who exaggerate things

But this FL shouldn't be a mother. She's not ready to be one