Journal#6 (Child Abuse)

About child abuse, hmm, where should I start?

Let's just begin with the definition of child abuse. According to Google; Child abuse is when someone, whether through action or failing to act, causes injury, death, emotional harm, or risk of serious harm to a child.

I think we can all agree, that child abuse is not limited to physical abuse, but also verbal abuse, neglect, and such.

Hmmm, sorry. I don't know what to type. So, what I want to say is, child abuse really affects its victims. Ofc, ofc, I state the obvious. But when I read people's stories about how their experience as a child affects them, I became speechless.

One said, that her dad forced her to eat or swallow sand. Yes, sand. I wouldn't be surprised if I heard about forcing someone to eat sand to haze them (usually done by a senior to their junior, I'll talk about this too later), but I've never heard about a parent forcing their child to eat sand. It's horrible. I can't remember much about the tweet/story, as it was a reply to a thread on Twitter (yes, a Twitter thread and its replies inspired me to write this poem).

Some replied that their dad or parents hit them until they bled. Their parents slapped them, some even said that their parent(s) cursed at them. Some said, the abuse still happens.



Then I saw how it affected them. Some women feel that they couldn't find true love, they lose their trust because of their fathers, or parents. Some men still feel traumatized and saying that it's hard for them to forget about the abuse. One said, she would freeze when she heard something loud (e.g: the sound of glass), someone said, that it still affects her marriage/dating life, because whenever she notices that her husband/boyfriend is angry or when he raises his tone, she would freeze then start to tear up.

We agreed that child abuse is not only limited to physical abuse. We also have some other examples like neglect and verbal abuse.

Like, seriously. I've heard or read some stories where they grew up with verbal abuse. Called s*lut, b*stard child, b*stard, ugly, disgusting, b*tch, etc. Some of them then have to struggle with insecurities. It's dangerous because it makes them more vulnerable when it comes to -bad and toxic- life choices.

I've already lost count how many times I heard -or read- that some women and men who have dealt with child abuse (verbal, physical, neglect, or even all of them) can be easily manipulated. It's dangerous, like really. These people offered them sweet affection, honeyed words, and sweet treats only to beat them, cheat on them, or do sh*t to them, and they couldn't even break free, beacuse they crave for warmth and they were already convinced -by those psychos- that they can't find someone better.

To be very honest, someone I know was kinda neglected by his dad. He was poor, his dad was just a farmer. When his father had money, he spent it on getting drunk and attending music, having fun all night, meanwhile, his children were really poor to the point they could barely buy some new clothes. Anyway, his relatives and neighbors also weren't so good to his family. I believe that built up his current character and that he has an unfinished past. His childhood doesn't only affect him, but it also affects his wife and his children. I mean, he's not that bad, but yeah, the point is, it definitely scarred him.

Just like other victims who may have not sought help or those who may not realize that they need help, the past would become a nail that will be stuck on their heart -known or not-.

Just like how someone couldn't stop her tears when she heard her partner's high voice, just like when someone freezes whenever they hear a glass break, just like how they could be easily lured in with the slightest affection.

What is even worse than those?

That's when they, the victims, make their partner or children pay for it. It's an evil cycle hard to break. It needs courage and a great will to do so. Parents -like from the boomers or baby boomers generation- sometimes inherit a curse to their children, children abuse. They abused their children because they were also abused. They were taught that the abuse they suffered is the one that makes them strong. As I said, it needs enough courage and will to break the cycle.

Another reply said that he was beaten up a lot and he tried (or trying) to forgive his parents for that, then one day his parents asked him to sit down with them. They apologized. They apologized for the abuse he had to suffer, from the whips/slaps/punches he had to suffer.

Many people don't even realize that they are suffering, and I hope that one day, I can give a chance to those victims who never realize that it's okay to acknowledge their pains. Our generation is already open to these problems, but our parents, grandparents, and above, their generations didn't (or maybe don't) really have a chance like us.

Anyway, I'm sorry for the long ramble. That's it.

Also, for those of you guys who may have gone through abuse, I don't know you guys, but I love you. You are worth it, never let anyone else convince you otherwise.

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