i had a dream
you were alive
we were on the beach
grilling BBQ on a late afternoon
you suck at grilling
each one you touched got burnt
I ate them anyway
the memory was strong
I remember your eyes
gentle they were
I remember your scent
clean, fragrant
floral pink with aloe
I remember your voice
soft, quiet,
you laugh like cottoncandy
and speak like the sea
you say my name like a whisper
I'm missing it
I'm missing you
but then I woke up from the dream
the room was dark and freezing
I look up my friends
wanting distraction
but you know
those that matter
I already pushed away
me and my horrible self
did a great job isolating ourselves
that even those who I'm closest too
seems so unreachable now
I realized
it's so hard to rely on people
when one unfriend
and they're gone
you're lonely and alone
maybe I was a good riddance
i'm sorry for even trying
to push myself to you