struggles of writing

Hello, it's me Aoi Rii~~

First of all, this is my first blog post. I just did this on a whim and I wanted to share my struggles in writing so I hope you guys don't mind it.

I am an amateur fanfiction writer in wattpad. I have published at least 3 fanfictions; twice for Highschool DxD and one for RWBY. I also published a story completely out of my imagination.

I only started writing about 2 years ago, I think. I was an avid reader in wattpad, constantly finding books to read. I spent almost all my free time on reading stories. I was engrossed in all the things the characters of the books I was reading were experiencing, be it good times or bad times.

I couldn't exactly remember what pushed me into writing but I knew that a certain book had given me a desire to also write such a great story. It was Project Socialize. I really liked how the author, NightLightLuminus, gave depth and feeling to every word he had written in that book, how the scenes were portrayed and how every little thing the characters surprisingly affected me. In short, I was mindblown.

I have realized that with only your imagination, you can give life to characters and experiment with how their lives would be intertwined to each other to create a story. A story that would impact other people's lives by giving them satisfaction or pleasure while reading them.

It was fun to write, I was enthusiastic and had many ideas running through my mind that I even remembered writing at least 3 chapters a day with at least 2500+ words which was pretty long for me. I even remembered the pure joy and amazement of how a story you have created out of your imagination would result to a message of encouragement and praise from readers. That was how it became when I first started writing. I was very happy and determined, full of bursting inspiration because of both the books I was reading and the people who supported and enjoyed my stories.

But I realized that as time passed by, that bursting inspiration gradually faded. I could no longer be able to realize ideas, couldn't start a single chapter without feeling frustrated with how my mind decided to rob me of my own imagination. It was truly frustrating and pitiful. I tried squeezing every drop of imagination from my mind but I couldn't picture the scenes of the characters that I was able to clearly see before when I had first started writing. And because of that, I was forced to take a break from writing. It was hard at first, trying to avoid opening my account and going to my draft section only to see numerous stories sitting idly and waiting to be continued.