this feels

This.
Was like back then. The pungent smell of smoke, the deafing sound of the music, the lively mood of the crowd. Then my gaze landed on you.

The world suddenly stop. With only you and me as a thing. Nothing matters even the sound turned silent, the blinding lights became null and all the large crowds are now gone. Because the only thing that matters for me is you back then.

Now right here in the same ambience I felt all alone. You being not here by my sight. Makes me wonder. Did I perhaps made a mistake for being separated with you. Cause this feels like torture. An endless loop of music and liveliness surrounds me but gloom is the only thing that is inside me.

Crying for your figure,craving for your smell like an addict missing his drugs. A medicine for my sanity. Just imagining that were miles apart makes me feel so helpless and uncaring. Thinking if all those promises is a crap. Feeling the remorse while blaming myself for my inadequacy.

I chase upon your image whenever I close my eyes. Like a kid who cant be apart from his mother. With tears and snot just to make her stay. Even begging and promising all kind of things. Even knowing that all these are for naught. Why? Why am I so incompetent? why can't I let you stay and embrace your thin waist. Caress your hair while telling you how much I- .

Just saying these words pricked my heart. A dam full emotion just a little bit more and it might break apart and flood.

Oh god how I miss you. Please stitch me back to aid. With your evenasence smile and stellar laugh. Let me hold you so you will never go apart from me. Really now I realize that I have been a prisoner of your love. A willing prisoner to be I am. With you as the jail I'll stay just to be near you. I'll latch upon the bars like my life depend on it.

Alas we are still miles apart and you are still not here in my arms.