Troubles, Bigger Troubles and Entitled People

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AliceShiki

『Ms. Tree』『Magical Girl of Love and Justice』, Female
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Recently I started browsing another community that is not NUF... It's something I haven't done in ages, and it's a community I never bothered to get engaged with... I'm still pretty unfamiliar with how to walk around on that place and I don't quite get how it works, so I basically look at the most recent topics and reply when something catches my eye... Overall, it's a way way tamer connection that I have than what I have with NUF, but... At the same time it is a nice one because it's a completely different community that focuses on other things than NUF does, and I can talk about some things there that I can't talk on NUF because nobody knows me there, so I have the freedom of anonimity to act in whatever way I want... This has its certain appeal, but it's not quite the same as the appeal NUF has, rather, it's a complete different appeal.

Today in on of the topics that caught my attention, there was someone ranting about a specific aspect of that community... I guess there is drama everywhere, even without Qidian~ *giggles*
Essentially, what the rant was about that a certain thing that was claimed by that community belonged to another community and that they were looking down on a serious issue of the other community by doing this kind of thing and that they could by no means do that sort of claim as what this community went through couldn't even equate to what the other community went through.

... In all honesty, pretty much everything above is true. That community has it a lot easier than what the other community goes through, which led to, unsurprisingly, to a lot of people showing support to the OP on their claims, because they actually had quite a bit of merit.

However... That's messed up. Like, really, crazily messed up. What essentially happened was that they were borrowing a term that has been used since who knows how long with a specific connotation in mind, and the other community took that term as their own and solidified its main usage as something that belongs to them... That's all fine and dandy, but you have no right in simply saying that other people can't go and also claim that term as their own with a different connotation than the one you use.

What it looked like was someone saying that their life is horrible and that other people had no idea how many hardships they went through, so they had no right to claim the term of that oh so terrified and oppressed community... I do realize the other community has a lot of troubles and I totally think they have all the right to try and fight for their rights, but by no means that gives them the right of looking down on the fights of other communities, nor do they have the right of claiming the vocabulary used by others as theirs, just because they claimed it first.

I realize I'm being super vague about it, but I don't particularly want to expose any details of the occurrence, so... Let's just go with an analogy. It's kinda like when your mom sees you leaving food in the plate (as a child) and says that you shouldn't do that because there are children starving in Africa! So we cannot waste food... Like... Hello? The African children wouldn't get this food anyway, it has nothing to do with them, just because they are starving to death, it doesn't mean I need to keep eating when I'm already super full.

It's this sort of feeling that I had... That someone had a big trouble and felt entitled to look down on everyone else's troubles... I get that their trouble is big, but just because my trouble is smaller, it doesn't stop being an issue anyway, it's a really entitled line of thought to think that your big trouble makes everyone else's trouble something that isn't really a bother... Since when this became a competition of who is worse off? Because in that case we should just stop all society's fights and go help the war refugees and the people that are starving, because nobody else is in bigger trouble than them.

Honestly, it felt like such a bother to read through that... It felt especially bothering how all members that were part of both communities ended up just defending the claims of the OP simply because they could relate to the problems of the OP better... I felt glad that the people of the community in question did defend themselves properly and calmly though, they did a good job, I would have been way less polite than they were~ *giggles*

Overall, it's just a small issue that concerns a bunch of people that I'm not close to in the slightest, but it still bothered me, so I figured I would rant about it a bit~

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doomeye1337 likes this.

Comments

    1. AliceShiki May 11, 2018
      @doomeye1337 *nod nod nod* What happened to us and what we remember vary quite a bit, and people are still very different from one another so our experiences don't quite apply to others... It's really bothering when they try to understand us when they clearly don't understand a thing... >.>

      Being cautious never hurts for sure~

      But well, I was more talking about how the worries adults have are different than the ones teens have, and one needs to take that into account when you compare (why would you do this anyway!? >.<) how troublesome are your problems to theirs... >.>

      Hormones too, I completely forget about those, but they matter quite a bit! >.<
      doomeye1337 likes this.
    2. doomeye1337 May 11, 2018
      @AliceShiki yep the teenager thing too is something that I saw too damn much on some of the forums I used to frequent. They always assume that the person they are talking about is going thru the same things that the adults thought they were going thru when they themselves were teenagers.

      I was just talking about the unreliability of human memory in lychee's thread, but that also applies here. Not only could the teen in question be actually going thru something completely different that simply seems similar on the surface, but also the adults' perception of the problems they themselves had as kids and how they overcame them are colored at best, completely bull at worst.

      I think the biggest thing is that adults forget how many hormones are pulsing through teenagers since the hormones have slowed down for quite awhile for the adults. The emotional stability from normalized hormonal output alone can have a huge impact on how things affects the person in question.

      OFC it's not as if they're always wrong individually when they're instilling "hard love" into these troubled teens, but I often feel that they're risking emotionally scarring someone just because of their overconfidence in the "similarities" of their perceived (and remembered) experiences. I really feel that especially in an online environment, it's better to play safe unless you know that person really well. And even when you think you know someone really well, it's a good thing to keep a strand of doubt in your mind when forging through, as the feeling of being misunderstood and not listened to by people close to you is possibly the most damaging thing one can inflict on someone else thru these types of interactions.
      AliceShiki likes this.
    3. AliceShiki May 11, 2018
      @doomeye1337 I know right!?

      Another point that kinda irked me, was how the person in question posed themselves as a grown up talking about a lot of teenagers... Now... I'm pretty new to that community, so I have no idea on the average age of them (one user said most were on their mid twenties though), but... It kinda felt like the person totally forgot what is being a teenager like? As in... All sorts of society's pressures from all sides to blend in, it's really tough! >.<

      Most things adults can shrug off can be a huuuuuuuuuge problem for a teenager... How can they just go and say it's not a problem when they are dealing with people on a completely different level of maturity!? (according to them btw) A child cries if they can't buy an ice cream, a teenage cries from not being understood, an adult cries from looking at their bills and seeing that they won't be able to pay rent on the next month... At first it looks obvious which one is bigger and which one is smaller, but all of those are legit problems that genuinely affect those people considerably... You can't just shrug them off.

      It's really too hard to deal with people that try to impose their ideals on others and that can't stop a few seconds to look at things from someone else's point of view... *sighs*

      Well, at least those people are the minority~
      ... A shame they're vocal though... T.T
      Clozdark and doomeye1337 like this.
    4. doomeye1337 May 11, 2018
      Yep, I see this argument all the time. "BECAUSE YOUR PROBLEM ISN'T AS SERIOUS AS SOMEONE ELSE'S, IT'S NOT EVEN A PROBLEM. JUST MAN UP. STOP BEING AN OVERSENSITIVE _______". Small problems are still problems. Everyone has different strengths and weaknesses, so even perceived small problems for some might actually be big problems for others. Even if you've seen a lot of other people complaining about that problem who ARE actually just complaining to complain when it's not a big problem for them to handle, that doesn't mean that this person also can deal with that issue so easily. etc. etc.- Too many goddamn narrow minded idiots in the world who only care about imposing their own ideals onto the rest of us :facepalm: Over-jaded realists aren't the only cancer in the world.... so are overly dogmatic idealists who've convinced themselves that they have a good grasp on things when they actually don't.
      Clozdark, Emmyy and AliceShiki like this.
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