This story will be vastly different from my previous attempt. And ironically enough, it will be written in the ego-perspective. Title: 100 Days Left Genre: Sci-Fi, Drama, Psychological Synopsis: The story focuses about a robot trying to find its own creator in a dystopian future, while also unveiling the mystery of the Alterion Tragedy. Contains: >Gore Chapters: Chapter 1 - The Fading Life Chapter 2 - Small Artillery Note: All chapters are also going to be uploaded on RRL. I'll link them once it has gotten approved etc.
Spoiler: Chapter 1 - The Fading Life Chapter 1 -- The Fading Life A rather strong gust of wind moved dust particles out of the way to clear the view, revealing nothing but corpses and moving objects, well actually those things were robots. Built by humankind. But not really working for them anymore, I guess? The sounds were a mixture of scraping noises and strangely pleasing beeping and something that resembled the human language, just a lot more metallic. After the Altherion Tragedy, it was very rare for them to even talk. Communication still existed it's just that it was more silent by transferring data to each other. "There is no reason for them to exist" Oh... That was unexpected. These were the first words I heard for over 30 years. Coming from the robot with the code APL_30.4F2. It was 2 meters large and equipped with 3 high-powered lasers. Its purpose was the penetration of thick armor; But this time it was aiming at the corpse of a human, about to destroy it even further. Great. He is malfunctioning. Humans aren't well armored. Dumb robot. The strong beam blasted the head of one these humans into small pieces. The tiny shards of the skull flew all across the land, staining the old, abandoned buildings around. Thank god I am not a target for them. Why do you ask? Well, I am not a target for the robots. Tiny robots, whose purpose I never really knew, carried the scattered brain and skin away from the APL_30.4F2 After having viewed this incident happen I am 1% more sure that the robots aren't attached to their own creators. I even asked some of them. By data transfer of course, as it's much faster. None of them really cared about their builders. Which was odd to me. Why wouldn't they want to know where they came from? The robots around me were the pinnacle of AI. Perfect. It's just that they viewed humans as useless. Honestly, they were right. For every small purpose existed a different machine. Even able to update each other. Oddly, they still continued to use the system given by the humans. Never understood that. Ah, you wonder about the naming? Well, it's simple the first letters give information about the reason why the robot exist. For example, the APL stands for Armor Penetrating Laser. The number after that shows the version. And finally, the last letter, plus the number indicates the rough size. Once I have more knowledge about different robots I'll update them. Not interested in giving incomplete information. I hope that was easy to understand, whoever I am talking too. Movements of indicated that I should move from where I am. So I did. I had no chance against something like the APL_30.4F2 When it comes to my purpose. It's... difficult. Different sources told me that I was useless. The only thing I know about myself is, besides my code being DRC_1.0F1E8, which, yes you got that right, tells that I am about the same size as that robot that just obliterated the skull of that human. To be more precise my height is 180cm. My body was built to resemble that of a male person. Making my gender... male? Was there even a reason why something like 'gender' existed? Just creating new humans with the corpses would be much quicker and they wouldn't waste so much space. There is no need for gender if they made it just like that. Maybe my creator can tell me more about it. Ah, sorry for getting off track. Where was I? Right. My purpose. It was to learn and that's it. Worthless, since as explained earlier on, everything just functioned perfectly. There was no reason left for me to be there. Especially considering that something like the AIS-Series (Analyzation/Identification Scanner) existed, who were made to identify nearly everything. I leaned towards a mold-covered wall. It felt uncomfortable but at least I can somewhat rest, but not for long, since I heard the sound of a Gatling firing, demolishing the door of the building. Before I was able to wonder why the robot shot, my question was answered by a mess of human flesh and intestines. I picked up the eye of the human. There was this odd fluid on it, like on many other humans. The purpose of it was unknown to me. I balanced it perfectly, to make sure that not even a little bit of the fluid gets wasted. At first, I had the thought that this was to reduce the possibility of the eye drying out, but why was it so much? With a piece of skin I took, that looked like a lid I emulated the sensation of a human eye closing. And like I thought: It was too much fluid. A big drop fell down. Interesting. With my tongue, I licked around the eye, as there was still some of the liquid left. It tasted salty, but I also felt strange. Why? This had to be an error of the human body. There was no way that this is anyway useful. However, it reminded me of something. The fact that I wanted to find my own creator. I equipped myself with a tent and other things to create a shelter where ever I need one. I left the rest of the corpse lying on the ground, as small insects already took care of removing it. Right after walking through the broken door I looked at my wrist which displayed a number, which showed how many days I had left before my battery died. And since I, like I told you earlier, had no purpose at all there was no loading station for me existent. But I do hope that I can find my creator before I run out of time. ++100 Days left until Shutdown++
To be honest, the idea is really good, but i don't really like the genre... sorry, even though i shouldn't comment if i said that but the plot is really good, i can't help but praise lol
Some suggestions and opinions: Please make paragraphs stand out more, either with indents or extra spaces. Also, since the concept and world seems interesting, you should try to show how it's interesting, not tell. The entire first chapter is an info dump, with the narrator even breaking the fourth wall to tell the reader things. Just writing about how the robot is walking along and seeing the ruined world sends more of a message than just telling how ruined it is. If I told you about a building collapsing, compared to you seeing it, which one would you react more strongly to? The narrator, for me, feels like it's changing tone from serious to joking in the blink of an eye. Just look at the first sentence, and how the end of it kills the whole mood you set up with the first few words. Like imagine if this was the aftermath of a big fight: I trudged to the top of the hill, carrying my dying friend. The stench of smoke and gunpowder filled the air, like a grim reminder of what just occurred. My gaze turned to the sky, surely searching for something besides the smoke, but I only found foreboding silhouettes on the horizon. Flying unicorns spraying rainbows out of their asses. The last sentence does NOT belong.
Done. I would've definitely agree with you, if I wouldn't have a reason for it. Without it a very huge part of the story wouldn't work as intended and putting it in later would make it feel very awkward and forced. Next chapter(s) will be much less of an info dump. ------------ Thanks for all the responses
Spoiler: Chapter 2 - Small Artillery Chapter 2 -- Small Artillery So little time, huh? I wonder if I, I mean if we can find my creator? After a very quick search, I found a rat-sized Bot created for File Transfer. To reach it I had to remove some rocks that were on it. Strange, why would it even be beneath rocks in the first place? Well, it didn't matter to me. Without any sort of struggle, I managed to free it. And since I liberated it I obviously got its approval to get its data, right? Not hesitating even at all I linked myself with it. But the connection was denied immediately. Why? If you helped someone, they must help you as a way to pay you back. Am I correct? I tried it once again. And like the first time, it was denied. And again and again. Violently I smashed the useless Bot too small pieces by repeatedly whipping it against the insect-filled floor. As the pieces of its electronic got ripped off its tiny body I found something that resembled a data storage device. A loud beep suddenly disrupted the silence as I touched the device with my fingers. It seems like it was equipped with an alarm. The sound resembled a very high pitched scream. By analyzing it I found out that it was around 180db loud. To my misfortune, a TD_3.4G3 heard it and registered me as its new target. Before I was able to say anything in my defense my vision revealed to me that it was preparing the two Gatlings on his shoulder too soon kill me. The barrels started spinning in an aggressive, yet hypnotic way. The violent noise of thousands of bullets tearing through concrete disturbed the still ongoing alarm. My eyes were blocked by a gigantic cloud of dirt. The mess created was so intense that I even lost my orientation for a short time. But due to my advanced location-system, I was able to identify my own position. Gladly this version of the TD-series was infamous for its terrible accuracy. If I am quiet and fast enough I should make it out of here safely. Activating the mode in my boots that is usually meant for sharp terrain engulfed them in a very thick fluid, allowing me to silently walk away. There is no was this garbage ca- Before I was able to finish my thought my right leg was penetrated by multiple of Gatling-bullets. It got torn apart right before my eyes, leaving just a mess of metal and electronics. I still clung on to the data storage I got from the File Transfer Bot but fell hard on the ground as my automated walking-system tried to place the now ripped off foot on the next best surface designed for standing. Despite me lying on the hot sand, the TD_3.4G3 decided it was not enough and destroyed my other leg within mere seconds. To my luck, it had run out of bullets. As I was about to use my arms it purposely let a piece of a building drop on me, trapping me. This was a very usual behavior of the TD-series. Also known as Tank Destroyers. With a lot of effort, I managed to change my upper body so that I was facing upwards. The structure currently slowly crushing me was a church. Come to think about it. Why do you humans have churches in the first place? What reason do you have for searching help from something that it is just in your imagination? Maybe you can tell me? This thing called "Religion" was something I never understood. Whatever. I had to get around the Tank Destroyer somehow. As far as I knew there were small robots from the BC-series that supplied it with new munition. So I had to find them, destroy them, and then leave the city. But before I can do that I need a new lower body. The mechanical stepping noise of the TD_3.4G3 made it clear to me that it was finally leaving as it realized its lack of munition. As I tried to free myself from the building on top of me I came to the conclusion that I don't have enough power left and should rest for a while. ++99 Days left until Shutdown++
More Cyberpunk and Sci-Fi. I also decided which route to take which means there will be soon more Chapters released. Also had some other stuff to do so that's another reason, however now that that's done I can work much more actively on the novel. (I'll try to publish up to 2 Chapters a week later on, without sacrificing quality)