Discussion Bullying

Mostly name calling, fighting, teasing and some extortion but most end up in fighting in my school. Its mostly ignored unless someone bleeds or the commotion got too big. Since it does help children stand up for themselves and take things with a grain of salt.

I suppose extremes does happem somewhere but dont know much about that.

Im still calling crazy when someone made an advertisement about bullies are the victim and we shouldn't blame them. That was a balloon floating in a needed cage if you ask me.

 

Just Japan things
You seem to have similar interests as this guy.

 

based on my experience as a bullied kid, it's not as intense as the web novels and manga but i experience the same. although i heard from my friends that their schools that some bullying are much more harsher on the same level in novels. the reason i don't fight back because of cowardice and i want to look good to adults, that i'm not a bad child. i experience more verbal bullying than violence though. in my country, verbal bullying is like a culture, friends are cursing each other as a tease so i get used to it and making a comeback after some time. and the guy who bullied me with violence, i only fought back in middleschool and he broke a teeth with only one punch and the experience is exhilarating when my fist landed on his face. he never treated me the same as before. i find out that he only preys on weak.

 

I was never really a gossipy person, and stayed away from toxic people. I played up the quiet shy girl and made people feel bad for bullying me. Did I get bullied? Ehhh, a little, but I was a cringy little kid. Name calling, laughing behind backs- that kind of thing. I don't really think any of those kids were bad people though...they stopped if I ignored them or just silently stared at them. Once I laughed when someone called me a nerd because- lol really, that's so cliche...nerd's not an insult.

Unfortunately, I have seen worse bullying to other people. It's worse for guys I think, physically at least. Girl's might get it worse with shunning, name calling, and gossip, but this one guy told me some guys tried to kick down the door in his stall when he was in the restroom. Like, who does that?!

There was this other girl who transferred from a special ed class who got bullied because people said she was dumb....hehe, she beat them up though. Got suspended a couple times, but she was just shunned afterward.

I never hung out with the crowd that did it, and I'm naturally shy and reserved when I don't know people irl. These are just excuses for why I didn't intervene though. I never mistreated her, and I tried to get along with her the few times we talked...which was only once haha...I carry a bit of guilt still..

I rarely saw violence honestly, but I also actively avoided it. My cousin says it happens all the time, and the stories she tells...sigh, I'm just glad she's really intimidating, charismatic, and has loyal friends to back her up. She really can't stand bullying, and stops it when she sees it *admiration*.

 

A video of cyber bullying stimulation (w/ eng sub)

 

I was bullied as a kid but I was smart in dealing with it luckily. Nothing happened during elementary school so I’ll skip that. In middle school though, because being bullied was something I didn’t know how to deal with I lashed out in defense. There was a guy who pushed me to the ground a couple times, but after his third attempt I immediately side stepped him and kicked him at the knee. We both ended getting up in pretty big trouble but he got the worse end of it (I somehow managed to break his leg and I successfully convinced everyone he did a similar level of damage to me). I had a little more verbal bullying in the next grade from some different people but I had friends and I had just as venomous a tongue.

Highschool in sophomore year I transitioned into being a loner with a few friends who I talked with a lot in class but remained alone during any other time aside from lunch when I did my homework with a pretty chill guy. In any case in one of my classes there was a guy who, after every now and then taping a generic “retard” sign on my back or backpack I threatened him in the hall next time I saw him the next day and I was surprised to see him actually stop. It seemed being a loner proved a bit useful to warding off bullies. Didn’t really have a problem with bullies after that aside from a bit of verbal lashing about. Ended up breaking my loner attitude in senior year and there isn’t much to say after that.

There are of course some other people in middle and high school but I dealt with them pretty well and I never really had a problem. So it was like I was a magnet for bullies but also a porcupine for them as well.

 

Well, kids are a victim of their living situation. It could be their parents treat them like that so they emulate it. Or it could be they are used to being kicked around and want to be the other party for once...or they could be taking their repressed feelings out on you. Tons of reasons, the world isn't black and white. Sometimes it is just because it makes them feel powerful or they're sociopathic, but I think that's rare. It doesn't excuse it by any means, and it sucks when you start sympathizing or empathizing with them.

This actually happens fairly often in light novels because the MC transmigrates into a villains body.

 

I got some verbal bullying growing up, but it didn't do much. The worst was the popular guy tormenting me by being... Handsy. I tried really hard to get him to back off but he seemed to think "no means yes". I had to bring my parents in to deal with him. Maybe it's a girl thing, but physical violence was rare. It was usually physiological.

Weirdly, the most violent bullying I got was the pre-teen years. Kicked and punched, that all happened as kid. It seems like I was a pushover at that age and that made me an easy target. Children, yikes...

I hate bullying and as a teenager never tolerated it. If someone was being bullied I did my best to stop it or at least wedge myself in there to give the victim a chance to leave. I didn't want the person being bullied feeling like no one cared. That sense of helplessness, of thinking you're unlovable to the point that you can be publically tormented and no one cares.. I didn't want anyone thinking that way when I was around. Even if I couldn't stop it completely, I hoped to be supportive enough that they realized they had value.

Thinking about it, not many people were like me. It seemed like my peers had a sort of "that's just the way it is" attitude. Since it didn't involve them they didn't care to exert the effort to stop it or they were scared of being targeted themselves so they stayed quiet. Sometimes I suspected the watchers were "spectator bullies": they wouldn't do the deed, but they thought the victim deserved it or it was fun to watch.

I was a weird kid though. I didn't want to be accepted and popular among my peers. I thought they were mean and stupid, so if they didn't like me I figured I was doing something right. And the teachers were going to be bias no matter what, so who cared about 'em? Which means I could interfer with bullies and come out the winner in most cases.

But my parents had my back. They believed in the kid they raised and understood me as a person (they wouldn't believe lies from me or others). I was protected where it mattered so I could be bold.

Most kids don't have that.

 

Yea that happened to me the first time I used the bathroom in school so I never used it again. The repeated kicking on the stall gave me a heart attack man. That's why I try to never use public restrooms now. Even if someone knocks on the door to ask if someone is in it, gives me anxiety.
I think it might be worse for guys though if I stared back at them while they are doing something to me. Some goons confronted me in the hallway once by blocking my path and just started talking so much shit and I was just staring at him. Probably a bad move cause he punched me at my chin and then pushed me down.*blahblahblah* After that, I couldn't really look at people in the eye anymore. If you ever saw me irl you'll never see me looking at your eyes. I'll look everywhere else if it's the table or the sky w/e it takes.
This probably made my social skills even worse tbh. I don't have any female friends so I literally can't talk to any girls. And if I do have to talk to girls I ain't looking at them in the eyes I usually keep my head down. And hey guess what? Girls kinda don't want guys looking down on their chests.

 

Dang that sucks. It's also easier for me to talk to my own gender. I'm asexual so I don't want to give anyone the wrong idea, and I hate embarassing situations and drama.

I'm sorry that happened to you :/ I just can't believe some people honestly.

 

Yea people suck like that. I usually just deal with it and move on cause I know I'm probably not the worse case out there. Like there was a guy that acts "gay" and was gay but hasn't said anything about it. The locker room situation for him was terrible. They shove him into the metal lockers a lot. Take his clothes and throw them away to the other side or on top of lockers. Someone would take em and hide em, spit on his clothes etc. etc.. Like it wasn't bad enough for me to call the police but damn. Honestly, I have too many stories about any situation cause my highschool sucked. Some people were even gang-related. It's so bad that there may or may not be an article and may or may not have been on the news where my school may or may not have had a grade fixing scandal.
And hating embarrassing situations? You can repeat that again. I hate it when I'm in the spotlight like why is everyone staring at me I hate this. This doesn't just end with me either. Second hand embarrassment hurts me as well. Like why, why are you doing this stop it can't you see the situation it's hurting me as much as it's hurting you.

 

Yes! Exactly! Sometimes even when I'm reading embarassing situations I have to stop and either skip ahead or stop reading altogether. And yeah, my school was pretty bad on that front as well. My cousins goes to the same school I did, and she's just a few years younger than me. She sees a lot more stuff than I ever did, I can tell you that much. Maybe I'm just a natural airhead? Well, I did witness a couple fights, but I never rushed over to see them like everyone else...so maybe that's why?

My brother told me he was bullied a little too and ignored it. Then someome went too far and he snapped and lifted them against a locker in the locker room, shook them a little bit, and gave him the crazy eye. Suffice to say, it never happened again. Way crazier than anything I ever experienced for sure.

 

Yesss fam when I'm reading and something drama related happens or something embarrassing happens I stop reading for a bit to collect myself, take a break, before continuing. And lifting someone up against the locker room? Yea... happened to me. I'm not much of a deterrence since I'm 5', or as I like to call it 5'1 no one has to know. That and I weigh like what? 120? As long as you steer away from the really dangerous and crazy people than you should be fine. Cause then that only leaves those hormonal teenagers that want to prove themselves by stepping on people to look/feel cool.

 

Yikes, I hope I continue to not meet people like that because I really don't know what I'll do...maybe look at then like they're crazy? Or ask them why...sigh, I have been really lucky over the years.

 

You probably won't, college is far better since everyone just minds their own business. Or if your working it's probably with adults that are above drama(hopefully). There will definitely be an occasional ass hole here and there tho. Other than my social life having no female friends(I've basically given up). I think I'm doing fine on luck. Excluding all the group projects and tests I'm going through. No crazy but nothing interesting. Just bidding my time reading all the novels I find interesting.

 

Bullying does happen quite a lot, I don't know if it is to the extent of as novels, but plenty of people I know have been bullied pretty badly. One person I know had his face stuck into the toilet or other times pushed into the bushes.

So is the severity of the bullying in novels real? Probably, though the only difference is that novel bullying make it out to be like bullies have no life other than bullying the MC, that isn't the case. Often time bullying is triggered when the bullies are in a group and the crowd mentality triggers them to take it out on the poor sap who happens to be there.

Otherwise, most of the time the bullies wouldn't even pay much attention to the person they bully.

Actually, I was also technically bullied in school, but not often since well, I didn't care. So they lost interest pretty quickly. That and they kind of knew I let them get away with it cause I was stronger then them.

The only time I remember being bullied/seeing bullying on an almost daily basis is in karate, but that is mostly because we were in a locked up changing room and there is this whole "pecking order" in karate. So it'll be like upper classmen would bully the mid classman and lower classmen by punching them out till they squeel, but on days upper classman is away, mid classman bullied the lower classman. Kind of like a cycle. Of course when I became an upper classman I didn't bully anyone, not because I'm so virtues, I was just too lazy.

 

One day when I was in high school, a few friends called me because 2 of our schoolmates are fighting. I was a big dude then and they expect me to do something about it. So I did. But Schoolmate A and Schoolmate B are really getting at it. I jump in the middle of the fight but one hand stopping one kid each is not exactly an effective way of stopping the fight. I was a foot taller than them but those kids were really fueled by anger and adrenaline.
Eventually, Schoolmate A got on top of Schoolmate B and started pummeling the other guy, so I grabbed Schoolmate A from the back, And I sort of lock his arms for a moment before I throw him to one side. I glared at the other dude and told him to stay there. The fight was over and that was that.
Schoolmates A and B and Me are all in different cliques but I thought for my part that we were mostly friends. Certainly we were civil to each other. We nodded to each other if we see each other in the mall, or cheer each other in school plays or sports if the others are playing. I remember a lot of ribbing and jokes with each other throughout high school. Then high school is over and we went on our separate lives.
About ten years later, there was a school reunion for our batch and I attended and so did Schoolmate A. He sat down next to me and I warmly welcome him.
"I just need to say this because its what my shrink wants me to do. I was so angry when you and schoolmate B gang up on me in our freshmen years."
"What?"
"You know when you held me down while Schoolmate B beat me up. It was a traumatic experience for me for a long time, I felt anger, humiliation, and frustration during that time that I still carry and I think it affected some of my relationships. But I forgive you."
He didn't say it like that exactly word for word, but that is the gist of what he said, and my jaws dropped. I think I remember saying something like, "ookay." When I asked some of my friends about that fight, All they can say is, "man that was a long time ago, I don't remember."

 

bullying happens but the type and extent probably varies, i guess, due to culture, values, location or even what country you live in.

About the closest i came to bullying was a few idiot dipshits who liked to act gay (trying to grab and hug you, spewing bullshit and just being utter arseholes) just to annoy people. They bothered me until flipped a bit and told them where they can shove it before they f'off. Not many people actually liked them though.
I had heard some stories that the other high school in my area was a lot rougher because of problem students.

I've only really seem the stereotype that asian schools have much worse bullying, it seems, than western schools. Is that an actual thing (if maybe an exaggeration)?

For those who've witnessed or faced much harsher bullying, what country do you live in?

 

This is not limited to novels , this happens in real life.

For instance there was a chubby guy in my class , he experienced bullying and nobody said anything about it , because they feared them themselves. The only person in class who stood up to these people, was me as I had boxing training from my father and wasn't afraid of these people. My act here isn't important , don't want to turn this into a humble brag.

The point is , depending on the severity of the bullying and the type of people you are facing you will get different reactions.
Sometimes people will inform the teachers , sometimes they wont.
In this case the people who bullied the chubby guy , weren't COMPLETLY bad , just utterly stupid , they kinda pushed him around , but never really hurt the guy. However emotional harm has certainly done as they drove him to tears.

I see similarity with novels in this case , people like to talk about virtues, but acting on one is difficult, maybe 1 in 30 people does.
Maybe less, add to this the fact that we're talking about feudal systems of power.