Corrupt a Wish

Discussion in 'Community Games' started by Aria Hime, Feb 5, 2016.

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  1. Bad Storm

    Bad Storm [Barely Alive] [Citizen#77060] [Dam Keeper]

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    Granted~
    You got to test the all new teleportation portal made by the world's best scientific minds. This portal brought you home. However, as a side effect (since it's still in the product testing phase) you entered a vegetative state where you will sleep...indefinitely

    I wish for some tasty and edible fried chicken
     
  2. Valcryst

    Valcryst 『Theorizing Panda』 ʕ-ᴥ – ʔ 『Ddraigslayer』 ︻デ═一

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    Granted~

    Hello there dear customer!
    I would like to welcome you to our new business venture.
    Valcryst Fried Chicken or VFC for short.
    [our lawyers checked, KFC can't sue us]
    We have expanded in to the fried chicken market following our success with our other business ventures.
    [Thank you for those that have appropriated our company's brand in their wish corruptions without our permission. Expect a call from our lawyers <.< ]
    Once again we have come with an excellent deal for you. We will give you 2 buckets of our delicious signature fried chicken for free every week for the rest of your life! All you have to do in exchange is work for us for half a day once a week. You can divide this half day into 2 hour - 6 work days if you so desire. Or any other combination except for ones that involve a 1 hour work day, other than that, our scheduling is flexible for you dear customer.
    You must be wondering what it is you are to do for us during this [slave] work.
    I will gladly answer that for you, dear customer!
    You can choose to be in one or more of these fun and exciting departments:
    1. Chicken processing and dressing
    2. Secret Spice blend mixing
    3. Industrial batch frying
    4. Packaging and delivery
    This contract will be in effect once you have replied to us and given us your choice of arrangements. Looking forward to working with you!

    Yours truly,
    Valcryst, CEO of The Valcryst corporation.

    ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
    Work place incident reports of all
    VFC departments.

    [Incidents may or may not have happened in different universes depending on the employee's choice of department]
    Incident # 24918-5b

    The incident involves contract employee #77060. On their first day of work in the processing department, they were assigned to corral some chickens for processing. Employee seemed to have brought some of our product with him. The chickens then noticed the aroma of our delicious VFC product #1 and gone on a frenzy. The employee was then attacked by the said frenzied poultry. When the employee was found, all was left was their overalls and the bucket our product came in. Next of kin has been notified and was offered the contract with an added proviso of an additional 2 buckets as compensation for their loss. Next of kin agreed, and starts work on monday.

    Incident # 592739-2c

    The incident involves contract employee #77060. On their first day of work in the secret spice department, the employee "became intimately familiar" with our industrial spice grinder. Witnesses report that prior to the aforemention intimacy, the employee may have had accidentally spilled cayenne pepper unto their eyes. Suffering from blindness, the employee stumbled around until they came face to face with the rotary grindstone of our industrial grinder. The after-incident coroner report indicates that the employees head was "literally ground down to half". Said report had a noticable vomit stain on the side. Next of kin has been notified and was offered the contract with an added proviso of an additional 2 buckets as compensation for their loss. Next of kin agreed, and starts work on monday.

    Incident # 97290-54b

    The incident involves contract employee #77060. On their first day of work in the
    Batch frying department, the employee was assigned to load the hoppers for our industrial fryer. An eye witness testimony after the incident indicate that the employee was seemingly "intoxicated by the smell of the frying chicken" and promptly jumped into the still frying batch of fried chicken. The testimony further ascertains that "they looked happy eating the fried chicken as their skin turned crispy golden brown". Next of kin has been notified and was offered the contract with an added proviso of an additional 2 buckets as compensation for their loss. Next of kin agreed, and starts work on monday.

    Incident # 390792-21a

    The incident involves contract employee #77060. On their first day of work in the
    Packaging and delivery department, the employee was assigned to drive one of our delivery trucks. They were to delivery our product to a remote town.
    The police report that was shown to us afterwards said something like this:
    'The town was eerily quiet. The delivery truck laid on its side in the middle of the street. Empty VFC buckets strewn across the ground. Mad howling sounded out of nowhere and feral people came charging at the police officers. Officer Kinnick died from a bite to his carrotid. The officers started shooting thereafter. When it was all done they found that the town turned feral because of the lack of food. The delivery had triggered a frenzy in the feral townsfolk. The driver was then found later, spit-roasted.'

    The recipe used for the roasting of the driver was recovered, the various departments are now busy recreating it for a new product.
    The driver's next of kin has been notified and was offered the contract with an added proviso of an additional 3 buckets as compensation for their loss and the recovered recipe. Next of kin agreed, and starts work on monday.

    I wish that I do become a CEO of some conglomerate.

    (This took waaaay too long to write..
    i shouldn't have put too much effort in this ._. )
     
    Last edited: Jul 10, 2018
  3. Zelphi

    Zelphi Member

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    I love that this wasn't corrupted, or if it was, I didn't realize it lol.
    (That was amazing and I wanted you to know I appreciated the effort you put into that.)
    Granted, you find out that one of your loved ones have died in a tragic accident and as a result, you have inherited a (formerly secret) CEO position for a fairly successful conglomerate. Unfortunately, your lack of reputation causes your business partners to turn against you, and you later find out that they've sold your secrets out to your competitors. While you're busy handling that, some of your workers have started a strikes in their respective locations because it turns out your predecessor didn't believe in fair working conditions nor fair pay. They had been hoping the new successor would bring change but their patience ran out while you were preoccupied with negotiations and betrayal. Once word gets out, reporters and human activists jump at the chance to drag your name through the mud.

    I wish silent fireworks were more popular.
     
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  4. Bad Storm

    Bad Storm [Barely Alive] [Citizen#77060] [Dam Keeper]

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    Wow. That was nice. Your efforts have been recognized. Here's a cookie :cookie:
    It was really good, I like how your company just expanded :blob_grin:

    ...for some reasons, I feel an indescribable connection with contract employee #77060

    Year 2163

    After humans waged war against nature, they learned the value of preserving the environment. Now, everything could be echo friendly. There are international laws against all types of pollution may it be air, water, land, light, noise, and others.

    Now, there are two major annual events that humans celebrate with silent fireworks: new year and the founding of the new world (when all countries decided to fight environmental destruction). Every time these two occasions happen, the sky is filled up by lights, silently painting the night sky with incandescent colors.

    This tradition went on for a century. It gave people hopes and dreams when everything in the damn world feels horribly out of place after the massive destruction brought by nature's wrath. Yet, everything has its end. The silent firework tradition do, too.


    On this year (2163), The International Nature Treaty for Pollution (INTP), has decreed that the silent fireworks shall all be disposed and be banned indefinitely due to the immense light pollution it gives, making it a CODE Red risk factor for the world's safety. All that will be found to use, store, own, sell and buy the contraband shall be sentenced with Reclusíon Perpetua or lifetime imprisonment.

    For the World's Glory and Survival,
    Bad Storm
    INTP Director-General

    In a never seen scale of protest, the whole world (or majority of it at least) lighted up all the silent fireworks on the night this international law is implemented. The night sky turned bright as day and that became the start of the world's downward spiral to its demise.


    I wish for a billion dollar inheritance
     
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  5. Karamell

    Karamell Active Member

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    Oh poor contract employee #77060 :ROFLMAO:
    Is he even still alive after going through all that? o_O
    Granted~
    In the year of 20XX, you received a letter from your deceased grandfather...
    To my dearest grandson/granddaughter,
    If you have received this letter, then that means I have passed away. I have written to give you all of my assets, worth more than a billion dollars, in my will. However, nothing is ever earned without working for it first. My assets have been spread out all over the world with some also in outer space. If you wish to gather all of them, start by climbing to the top of Mt. Everest for the first clue. I wish you good luck.
    Sincerely,
    Your loving grandfather,
    Evil Storm

    P.S. In no point during this journey will the difficulty be lower than climbing Mt. Everest.

    I wish for the power to control and make ice.
     
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  6. Zelphi

    Zelphi Member

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    Granted, you gain the power of ice manipulation but it requires immense concentration to form a single ice cube. The ice you make also melt faster than conventionally made ice regardless of how much you will it to stay frozen.

    I wish I could predict the results of each action and what-if.
     
  7. Kudaranai

    Kudaranai 《 That Sheepish Guy 》 《 Curled Horns 》

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    Granted but you turn into a computer program without a will of your own.

    I wish for all the time on the world.
     
  8. Zelphi

    Zelphi Member

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    Granted, you receive all the time the world has to offer in the form of a really full hourglass.

    I wish old age didn't wear away at the body or mind.
     
  9. Valcryst

    Valcryst 『Theorizing Panda』 ʕ-ᴥ – ʔ 『Ddraigslayer』 ︻デ═一

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    Just so you know, 77060 is your profile ID here in NUF... so... RIP to all of your multidimension doppelgangers and you, if you so choose to accept a VFC contract. Oops no, i did not mean RIP, I meant happy eating. Enjoy our product to the fullest :blobsmilehappyeyes:

    Like the report says, this may or may not have happened in various mutitudes of parrallel universes. So we essentially have a Schrodinger's Bad Storm in our hands.

    Granted~

    Hello and welcome Test subject #114268.
    You should be pleased to know that you have been chosen to be part of a revolutionary experiment that may change the course of human history.
    We here at Valcryst Technological Research and Development Ltd. pride ourselves at the various innovations that we have pioneered throughout the decades and this new project is going to be our crowning jewel.
    So Test subject #114268, you may be disoriented right now. The preliminary procedure has been recorded to be a bit jarring [*laugh* excuse the pun] when test subjects first wake. So let me reorient you as to who you are and what we are doing here.

    Test subject #114268
    Age: 83
    Number of days since death: 4
    Days of viablility left: 3

    C.O.D: Abdominal GSW

    Remarks:
    Test subject was chosen because of a survey taken, about wanting immortality, not long before day of death. Cause of death left minimal damage to the test subject's brain making it a viable specimen.

    So there you have it, you get to have your wish. Immortality, time does not have a hold of you now.
    The procedure is as follows:

    1. Procure test subject's intact greymatter
    2. Presserve specimen in our proprietary synthetic CSF in 'Think Tank' room.
    3. Set up various monitoring devices and open a line of communication with subject
    4. Start orientation procedures

    There you have it, we are now in step 4. You must be wondering, what is the catch?
    Well, in exchange for this new found lease on life you would just have to work for us. We have you and the other Test subjects connected together into a type of network, a mini Internet if you will. You just have to process data for us, everyday except on saturdays. Saturdays, all of you are to have breaks and interact with each other. This will alleviate whatever ennui that may come a' knocking. You are part of the first batch of this literal 'Think Tank', a prototype so to say. We hope that in the future, more of our 'Think Tank's can be made and be used all over the world to replace the so called Supercomputers whose capabilities are limitted by the materials they are made of. Take pride in being one of the pioneers!
    There you have it, you are duely informed and willing. Have a nice life and work hard!

    Sincerely,
    Valcryst, head of R&D of VTRD Ltd.

    -end of orientation-
    [​IMG]
    I wish to experience being in a world governed by the Sybil system from Psycho Pass (i took a lot of inspiration for this corruption from there XD)

    (Another long one :sweating_profusely: i hope i got terms, grammar and spelling right. I got too lazy to check)
     
  10. Kuroihagane

    Kuroihagane Savage Star

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    Granted but it's only a virtual world and it cost you 100K nuffies


    I wish I could shop in amazon using my nuffies
     
  11. wonderer

    wonderer Well-Known Member

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    granted, but you can only spend it on e-books, on JP/CN web novels that you already read

    I wish for a burger
     
  12. Zelphi

    Zelphi Member

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    Granted, you wish for a burger, I give you a hamburger. You raise it to your lips and take a bite. Your eye twitches involuntarily. Across the street a father of three falls down the stairs. You swallow and look down at the hamburger in your hands. I give you a hamburger. You swallow and look down at the hamburger in your hands. You cannot swallow. There are children at the top of the stairs. A pickle shifts uneasily under the bun. I give you a hamburger. You look at my face, and I am pleading with you. The children are crying now. You raise the hamburger to your lips, tears stream down your face as you take a bite. I give you a hamburger. You are on your knees. You plead with me to go across the street. I hear only children's laughter. I give you a hamburger. You are screaming as you fall down the stairs. I am your child. You cannot see anything. You take a bite of the hamburger. The concrete rushes up to meet you. You awake with a start in your own bed. Your eye twitches involuntarily. I give you a hamburger. As you kill me, I do not make a sound. I give you a hamburger. The world goes back to sepia.

    I wish I could create and control dimensions and their respective parameters.
     
    Last edited: Jul 11, 2018
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  13. Emmyy

    Emmyy Kadupul flower* blooms at midnight*dies at dawn

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    Granted you can create and control dimensions and their respective diameters but you are an ant and a large shoe is approaching you
    I wish I could think of a wish
     
  14. Zelphi

    Zelphi Member

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    Granted, the best and most uncorruptible wish comes to you but in the time you were thinking, NUF got shut down.

    I wish I was more responsible as a person.
     
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  15. Bad Storm

    Bad Storm [Barely Alive] [Citizen#77060] [Dam Keeper]

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    Granted~

    Congratulations for winning the world's first ever Most Responsible Person Competition! :blobparty::blobparty::blobparty:

    As a reward, the Committee of Responsible Conducts gives you..... MORE RESPONSIBILITIES!!!

    Isn't it exciting? Now, you are responsible for running the whole world as all 7 billion people of the world laze around. We will never forget to outstanding contributions to the progress of mankind.

    I wish for a huge pillow~
     
  16. Zelphi

    Zelphi Member

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    Granted, a huge pillow comes to you in the mail from an unknown sender and unbeknownst to you, it's full of bedbugs. Once you bring the package in, the small bugs have already started their slow war of attrition where a few of their elite somehow always survive your attempts at pest control only to find out you missed a few. You move once you're tired of expending the effort, but the ones who like you best crawl into your luggage and person to take the journey with you to your new home.

    I wish all surgeries became non-invasive but more effective.
     
  17. Karamell

    Karamell Active Member

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    Granted, surgeries were now done with radiation. Better pray that you don’t get cancer from it :blobokhand:
    P.S. don’t ask me how it is going to work cause I have no clue lol

    I wish for all trash to disappear after an hour on the ground.
     
  18. Valcryst

    Valcryst 『Theorizing Panda』 ʕ-ᴥ – ʔ 『Ddraigslayer』 ︻デ═一

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    Granted~

    A booming voice from the heavens shouts, "REAL LIFE HAS STARTED!".

    Confused, you look around your room. Everything is the same, nary a thing out of place. You look down at yourself, nothing feels wrong. 'So what the hell was that voice about?', you wonder to yourself.
    Shaking off the weirdness that came about this wonderful morning, you start preparing for the day. You go about your day like normal and yet a nagging feeling that something is off still lingers within your mind.

    To get rid of the feeling, you decide to treat yourself with an ice cream cone.
    You are eating the ice cream on the way home when out of nowhere, a speeding car cuts across your path, startling you.
    You stumble backwards and drop the rest of your icecream in the process.
    And once again a voice sounds,
    "1 Icecream Cone, Despawned"

    And that's when it hit you, you are playing a VRMMORPG called Real Life.
    An "early 2000's era" life simulator that has an frivolous object auto-despawn feature to lessen the load of the VRPod processor by despawning unwanted object like trash on the street. You continue wasting time playing as a young person in the early 2000's era...


    (I hope that counts :blobsmilehappyeyes:)


    I wish for unending blackjacks hands for me(not the bot) in Blackjack. :aww:
     
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  19. Zelphi

    Zelphi Member

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    Granted, but blackjack becomes the only game you can think about. Your loved ones are worried. You've been sitting at the computer for days even though the storm has long since shut down all power in the vicinity, but your hands still move and you still stare at the screen. Your eyes roam the black screen, and you keep whispering "Yes. Yes!" under your breath. What's more worrisome is that once the power does come on, the screen turns on to the blackjack game.

    I wish summer didn't bring so many bugs out.
     
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  20. wonderer

    wonderer Well-Known Member

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    granted, but it has more to do which how deadly the sun and how it scorches all that dare appear in front of its majestic form than anything else

    I wish for a talking cat