Corrupt a Wish

granted, you are transported to 480 B.C.

I wish to be a god at arcade games

 

granted, welcome to the 1980's where you can predict the upcoming arcade games before the companies even announce them

I wish for free coffee to be served everyday

 

granted, it's instant coffee though, as well as being diluted

I wish for a pirate ship

 

granted, you get baited to a zoro x sanji ship

I wish for a world without yaoi

 

granted, but only then you've realized the wonderful world of yaoi and got desperate by the lack of it

I wish for a hot butler

 

granted, he's so hot and steamy that just being near him literally melts anything.

I wish for better connection.

 

granted, you are transmigrated into the body of your great grandfather back when he was your age

I wish to know the difference between butter and margarine

 

how is that a better connection?

granted, you get to have a follower shout butter/margarine whenever you pick one out

I wish gambling never existed

 

uhhh... better connection with you family?

granted, life is dull and everyone moves in a predictable linear path towards their deaths.

I wish for better judgement

 

granted, you get into trial for the same reason multiple times

I wish for a dollar every time I get annoyed

 

granted, but you got a brain injury that blocks any feelings of annoyance and transforms it into feelings of fear instead

I wish my tea pot played the imperial march when the water finished boiling

 

granted, and it will whistle steam to the sound of Darth Vader breathing too, also it will have a 1% chance of the person himself appearing and cutting you in half.

I wish for better luck

 

granted, bad things always happen to those around you but you always seem to just get by unscathed

I wish for a silencing machine of some sorts

 

granted, but it silences anyone trying to speak to anyone except you

I wish the rain would last longer than a couple of minutes

 

Granted, until this minute the rain keeps falling and there is no sign it will end. The mainland was nowhere to be seen. The earth is now all blue.

I wish I could shapeshifting

 

Granted, you will keep on shape shifting forever, unable to remain in one shape at any given time.

I wish to cure cancer.

 

granted, but you only cure the cancer in animals, not humans

I wish there was an ice rink nearby

 

granted, but it melt every time you come close

I wish for biases to disappear

 

granted, your parents, friends and sibling now treat you with the equal amount of disdain as the homeless man outside on the streets

I wish for a giant (by blue whale standards) blue whale

 

granted, but it's the last of it's kind and sterile

I wish it was night time