Corrupt a Wish

Granted, but you fail in life and the rest of your team is trash so you never get anywhere with it.

I wish for a good essay idea

 

You can't write any essays.

I wish to free all the pigs in the world.

 

Granted, they are free from the suffering of life and can rest eternally in death

I wish chemistry wasn't hard

 

Your brain outgrows your skull, your brain is trafficked for research if you don't die soon.

I wish people didn't like harems (reverse harem is no exception).

 

Granted, I don't really want to corrupt this one..... authors still write about them anyway and you're forced to read trash everyday

I wish my internet wasn't so slow

 

Your internet is not slow anymore, but its not fast either.

I wish for blankets (the very fluffy kind).

 

Granted, but they're full of holes

I wish for my blackout curtains to actually work

 

They work, but nobody has any.

I wish adelie penguins weren't morally bankrupt.

 

Granted, but you're actually bankrupt

I wish my pencil never went dull

 

You only use your pencil, now. You write extremely slowly.

 

Thank you ＾ω＾
I give you a wish wasted

I wish for a good backscratcher

 

Granted, but your feet are constantly itchy.

I wish my gf would stop eating fruit-loop flavoured jelly beans; they are disgusting.

 

Granted, instead she eats bamboozle jellybeans. Just as disgusting imo : )

I wish ice cream didn't take so long to make

 

Bah.

Granted, you make it quicker but it's always too icy.

I wish my fingernails would stop breaking so easily.

 

Granted, but they grow 2 feet long and are so hard you can't trim them

I wish my homework wasn't due tomorrow

 

Granted, your homework is now due today

I wish my cat would stop pissing on the couch

 

Granted, your cat now pisses on the carpet ＾ω＾

I wish I had a cat

 

Granted, you have a cat with pissing issue now

I wish there's no exam tomorrow

 

Granted, it's next Tuesday instead

I wish I had a bigger kitchen

 

Granted, your kitchen occupied 3/4 of your house

I wish I have a shounen protagonist's determination