Uh-no. My older brother is a good cook. I mean good. When he puts the heart to it he makes good steaks. He makes good quesadillas too—maybe they r better call soft street tacos? Idk. A couple month ago, he did a whole bunch of research and bought some ingredients—he put together some quesadillas(soft street tacos) for the family; and for once, actually bought the food to pester me in my room. He wants me to try it. That was how proud he was. So yea—both my brothers r genius if they put their eggs in. They just need to want to do it. My younger brother only make scramble eggs because it is convenient. My younger brother is actually the nutrient freak in the family. He has a thing for salad and getting the perfect sauce. . I get that. I am quite bias too. I would buy “more” stuff for my sister. But she’s the youngest. I tend to spoil her. Haha, that last part sound like my little sister. U guys sound like a very well balance family. It takes forever for my brother to clean the yard—I might as well just go do it, get it done and out of the way. My landlord has made a complaint before when I was waiting for my brothers to trim the yard. it seems they have toxic masculinity ideal, but yea in most culture man are expected to be more tougher! My mom treated all of us the same when it comes to money. My dad is very stingy to all of us, regardless of gender. Yea me was raised like that too. While I was doing the woman’s work, my brothers were littered with games. It wasn’t until my older brother enter college and younger brother in high school that my parents have more expectation of them. Even then, they weren’t use to it. Buhahah—my mom often tells me that. I would turn over and repeat it to my brothers haha. “You need to show off to your mother-in-law. You wouldn’t want them to say, their son-in-law is a good for nothing.” My mom silently stare.
Yeah that does sound like delicious food like the kind to get from street stands or something, but not home cooked food, that kind of food is good to amaze others but not for daily consumption, as for your young brother, is he into some sport, maybe body building? what he is doing is good for barbecue food which is not something to eat daily (not a good idea) either way, they need to learn to cook proper meals
it's kinda funny how gender bias still run very strong in my extended family. They stoopidly wait for the confirmation of my underaged little brother on many important topics regarding my family branch, which he usually have almost 0 idea, whereas it's me and my mother who are the adults and actually run the scenes. Minor annoyance, but eh
I don't know of any case of gender bias rom either side of my family. O.K., their sexual orientation will say that they prefer said gender/sex.
Yes. There is a big family bias on mg family. All female are treated like princess in our family (Father side). My mother know how to do the basic stuff and cook, but its mostly dad who do everything if he's home. I was raised by my parents with the attitude that I should learn to do it all. My sister don't know much. They aren't teaching her anything. My grandma said "its okay she's a girl." but I'm the one who teach her chores and stuff even if my parents say otherwise.
I know what you mean. I've seen it in some families. Boys do the overtly physical chores (like mowing the lawns, fixing things) and girls are expected to do dishes, washing, cooking. While boys have a physical advantage and 9/10 for that kind of work, there's no reason daughters shouldn't be taught if they're capable of it. And there's no reason not to teach your sons to cook properly also. You're not a bitch. You just don't appreciate the unequal treatment. Maybe it's unfair and maybe it isn't, but you're not a bitch for feeling the way you do. My family doesn't believe in that bullshit. We go by the saying "I don't care, just get it done". We cherish our young, but we don't baby them. Every child is gradually taught as much of the life skills we can give them to look after themselves in the world. Even the ones some people might choose to gender. As long as they're capable of it, they'll learn it. Later, they'll apply it. That's the whole point of raising your kids well. So they'll be happy and thrive.
Mmmmmmm, I was a bit lucky that my parents did not have this kind of issue, both me and my two brothers all had to do chores. (Though my eldest brother loved running away from chores... >.>) My grandma did try pushing more work onto me because I was a girl, but my mom never forced me to work on my grandma's home while we visited. Sometimes I did go help out of my own free will, but I was never forced to do so. ... Interestingly enough, as I grew older I realized that the real issue in my family was that my mom doesn't really respect men much. Like... When someone is a bit messy or rude she often faults it as "because he is a man." Saying stuff like how men can't pay attention to details, or how men never do chores... Even though my brothers do chores all the time. It's the kind of thing I often feel like bringing up to my mom that she has some prejudice against men that she needs to address, but at the same time I never feel comfortable enough to actually bring it up. So I just turn a blind eye to it.
I grew up with my mother teaching me, "Men should be able to do what woman can." Which I think is fine. I mean, she grow up with my grandfather telling her, "Jobs/works doesn't differentiate between genders," and she used to help him farm and do carpentry (mom's carpentry skills is still better than mine). As for how I grew up, I help mom with cleaning, laundry, cooking, baby-sitting, and all that. I would conclude by saying this, as long as your mom (father is fine too I guess) knows how to be strong and charismatic, your household will be peaceful, and bad gender treatement like the one you mentioned will be near negligent in your family.
They both could cook decent meal. Younger Brother just tend to run and Older brother has preferences. Younger Brother isn’t into sport. He just like to listen to informative talks. Not bad thought. He’s learning a lot, but makes very annoying comments. Like saying things like “you’re eating empty carb.” Haha My mom respect men too much. But she still has that because they r men reasoning. Usually, I will respond. My mom is strong, but she is burden with the idea of women and men in our culture. She is participating and yet expect each of us to walk outside of the gender expectations. As long as I can pay the bills, I turn a blind eyes and try to limit contact with relatives. I don’t want them to start the “extra woman” “why u not marry” and all that question.
The only thing my parents taught me is to do what others can't do / do the menial stuff and since I'm a good boye and never go out i pretty much do the household chores when they're in work thus granting me their complete trust so they don't mind about the things i do, the places i go to or the time i go home as long as i tell why did i go home so late lol
My family, female adults included, say shamelessly that daughters aren't worth a penny compared to male sons. That women once married to other families, aren't their daughters anymore. That they would be another families' daughter. That those daughters would not look after them when they are old, that only sons are able to support the parents. This mentality is shared by the entire town they were from. It honestly feels like something out of a badly written CN novel. The good thing is that this mentality dies with me and my brother.
hmm its not really gender but as the oldest cat, there several responsibility this cat must bear, be it from family or relative~ show da wae to younger generation...... you should do this should do that, be family envoy to come there or there or help cuz you da oldest.... sometimes just show yourself is enuf to give face.......yeah social gathering on family is fun and tiresome.... say what is like to be born as youngest one? welcome aboard yeah despite this cat family kinda more open minded some basic still drilled male and female have different role~ really? you from western country no?
^My mom has literally said that ad verbatim. Neither me or my brother really grew up doing chores (mom spoiled us) but on the rare occasion that we did do something it was very gender based. I was sent to do laundry, cleaning or cooking and my brother did yard work and car maintenance. I don't know if he's ever sewn. Neither of us have had issues with chores since we became adults. At least with me, since I'm in a relationship and my partner's fam is very traditional my parents would often say stuff like "you gotta improve your cooking to impress your in-laws" and "nobody wants a daughter-in-law who can't look after the house" etc. They never say stuff like that to my brother. Whenever I show interest in learning how to change tires or fix things my parents praise me and seem so impressed. Just watching or helping out is good enough. I'm not expected to do a good job or anything. On the other hand, if there's anything wrong with the tire pressure or some minor mistake related to car maintenance, they'll scold my brother a lot for it and tell him that he needs to look after things properly. I guess my parents expect that we'll be responsible for the same things they were when they got married when we have our own households to run.
I'm glad you do! I do it sometimes too, but uhn... I don't spend that much time with my mom nowadays, so I try avoiding turning that time into me chatising her or something... But it's actually important to do so! >.< Oh, I hate those questions! As if the perfect man grew in trees and was just waiting for me! >.< Relationships are hard to find, alright!? Don't just expect them to magically happen! I'd still be dating my ex if he didn't break up with me! >.< At least you and your brother know better! \(^^)/ Some dated mentalities live on for far longer than they should... T.T
Hmm... I only have a brother and no sisters and I'm a guy myself so I don't really have a say in this? But there's at least my mom and there are certain things that a quite saddening so I'd like to say something nonetheless. Most of the income in our family comes from my mom. She works as an accountant, has a very stressful environment, most of the time overworks herself, but is still expected to care for everyone, cook for everyone, clean after everyone and so on. Sometimes I'm so sad, I feel like crying because of that. I try to help, but I'm really negligent sometimes. I'm a lazy person in general, but there's no way that can act as an excuse. Bad is bad, the reason doesn't change the nature. Bad is something not connected to love. Me not helping my mom is rejecting the love, I feel like a failure.
I get what you mean. My family has some too of that too, though it's hard to tell at a glance, it's not so clear cut. Growing up, I remember being scolded for not cooking more often, but I don't remember my brother ever being told to cook. My mom's generation (her and her siblings) were almost all women, and the one man died young. That, plus their culture from where they grew up (rural mexico) means that they tend not to ask or expect boys/sons to do as much as girls/daughters. As an example of the differences between genders in their culture, my oldest aunt was given to her paternal grandparents as a baby, so that they would have someone to care for them in their old age (cook, clean, etc). I was told my grandmother did not want to give away her daughter, since she was her first child, but it was expected and she had to do it to show respect for her husband's family, and that if it had been a son, no one would have even thought of asking for him to be given away. While writing this I started wondering if female and male being treated very differently was just in their area or if it was common in mexico in general, so I tried googling, and found a wikipedia article that says this: "Although women in Mexico are making great advances, they are faced with the traditional expectation of being the head of the household. Researcher Margarita Valdés noted that while there are few inequities imposed by law or policy in Mexico, gender inequalities perpetuated by social structures and Mexican cultural expectations limit the capabilities of Mexican women." source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Women_in_Mexico So it seems to be common. I wasn't raised in that culture, but my mother was, so her subconcious expectations are still there, meanwhile I see differences between her expectations and the culture I have been raised in (outside of home I mean) so it's a weird thing. She didn't like the culture over their either, especially how it was back when she was young, so she's not carrying these cultural expectations intentionally, it's just hard to shake off.\ edit: Also found this: http://countrystudies.us/mexico/60.htm It's clearer and about the period of time my mom was in. Spoiler: for people that don't like clicking links: "Beginning in the 1970s and over the next two decades, dramatic changes occurred in the role of women in the Mexican economy. In 1990 women represented 31 percent of the economically active population, double the percentage recorded twenty years earlier. The demographics of women in the workforce also changed during this period. In 1980 the typical female worker was under twenty-five years of age. Her participation in the workforce was usually transitional and would end following marriage or childbirth. After the 1970s, however, an emerging feminist movement made it more acceptable for educated Mexican women to pursue careers. In addition, the economic crisis of the 1980s required many married women to return to the job market to help supplement their husbands' income. About 70 percent of women workers in the mid-1990s were employed in the tertiary sector of the economy, usually at wages below those of men. The growing presence of women in the workforce contributed to some changes in social attitudes, despite the prevalence of other more traditional attitudes. The UNAM 1995 national opinion survey, for example, found a growing acceptance that men and women should share in family responsibilities. Approximately half of all respondents agreed that husbands and wives should jointly handle child-care duties and perform housekeeping chores. However, such views were strongly related to income and educational level. Low income and minimally educated respondents regarded household tasks as women's work. The UNAM responses correlated with the findings of Mercedes González de la Rocha, whose research focused on working-class households in Guadalajara. González de la Rocha reported that the members of these households held traditional norms and values regarding the roles of men and women. In addition, these women were often subjected to control, domination, and violence by men. Observers noted that women generally were held to a stricter sexual code of conduct than men. Sexual activity outside of marriage was regarded as immoral for "decent" women but acceptable for men."
What's funny is that where I'm from, the joke is, once sons get married, they are the ones "married out", because they have to look after their own families. It's usually the girls that are more filial and come back to look after their parents in their old age. If you have three daughters, you generally get three more sons lollll But that depends on how strong women are in society and in the family, so