How do I cultivate more efficiently?

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by LysUltima, Sep 1, 2017.

  1. LysUltima

    LysUltima Riichi! Tsumo! Toitoi! Suuankou!?

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    Recently, I've been in a stone room for 7 hours a day trying to break into the Enlightened Celestial realm from the Puny Mortal realm (lol that's like 0.1 cultivation).
    But, I'm still stuck at the Puny Mortal realm! Not even half-step Enlightened Celestial realm either!
    My fellow Daoist friend, Kim Xiufeng Katou, said to create and ingest the Heaven Piercing Pill.

    I googled the formula, but it was in f***ing Chinese.
    I don't know Chinese myself.
    Therefore, I google translated it like any other Chinese-American that knows Japanese instead of Chinese, for some reason, would do.

    I got: (using google translate)
    One Grass Mud Horse liver (cao ni ma)
    Fifteen ounces of French-Croatian Squid (fa ke you) ink
    One tael of Small Elegant Butterfly (ya mie die) wings
    Two taels of silk from a Chrysanthemum Silkworm (ju hua can)
    Ten Quail Pigeon (chun ge) eggs
    A tail of the Lucky Journey Cat (ji ba mao)
    A tail of the Stretch-Tailed Whale (wei shen jing)
    Seven feathers of a Singing Field Goose (yin dao yan)
    Twenty-four feathers of an Intelligent Fragrant Chicken (da fei ji)
    The shell of a Hidden Fiery Crab (qian lie xie) that traveled across the Grand Canal
    Beat into a paste along with river crab (he xie) roe, and put the paste into an 8" pie pan.
    Bake at 350 F for 50 minutes or until the crust is golden-brown.

    The baking instructions for the pill makes sense (who has a cauldron nowadays?), but where do I get the ingredients?

    Other than that, how do I break into the Enlightened Celestial realm?
     
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  2. arrogantyoungmaster

    arrogantyoungmaster 20 Nuf = 1 face slap to make your day better

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    fapping will help you break it worked for me
     
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  3. LysUltima

    LysUltima Riichi! Tsumo! Toitoi! Suuankou!?

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    You see, I tried that before, but, in the end, my right hand was the only thing that broke through to half-step Enlightened Celestial.
     
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  4. alamptr

    alamptr What should i put here

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    You all need jesus
     
  5. elengee

    elengee Daoist Ninefaps

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    That's because you didn't have my Nine-Layered Heavenly Fap technique~!
     
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  6. Terepi

    Terepi Well-Known Member

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    Any Celestial would be lost without the Dao of Face Slapping, and I believe this to be no coincidence. I recommend you go into secluded meditation, and look at the records of such experts in hopes of enlightenment.
     
  7. Scarce

    Scarce reaping my good karma

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    I hear jumping off a cliff unlocks your Dao of Retardism Try it!!!!
     
  8. Inute

    Inute Daydreamer

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    riperoo need lots of power
     
  9. Noche

    Noche New Member

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    Have you tried acting like an arrogant young master?
     
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  10. LysUltima

    LysUltima Riichi! Tsumo! Toitoi! Suuankou!?

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    I'm Daoist not Christian...

    Then my right hand would break into Enlightened Celestial and I'd have an indestructible right hand.
    It'd be a bit weird when my right hand has baby-like skin any nowhere else does.
     
  11. lexlangel

    lexlangel Shem's lost butler

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    Anyway it is always better to get what you need for the advanced double cultivation, for more info check ATG
     
  12. Sherrynity

    Sherrynity I see no God up thereā€¦ other than the chaotic void

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    Cleanse your body by throwing yourself naked into a boiling cauldron filled with heavenly medicines on the 11st full moon of the year, let the moonshine baptize you while you dance motteke, chanting "WE WUZ KANGZ" 981 times.
     
  13. Saitama.sensei

    Saitama.sensei [[xiantian lifeform]]

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    @LysUltima you should go talk to Dr.Phil about it..
     
  14. LysUltima

    LysUltima Riichi! Tsumo! Toitoi! Suuankou!?

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    I'm already an expert in the Dao of face-slapping! Hah! Face-slapped!
     
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  15. i-eat-novels-everyday

    i-eat-novels-everyday Well-Known Member

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  16. elengee

    elengee Daoist Ninefaps

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    "Why is your hand so jade-white" :facepalm:
     
  17. fuzor100

    fuzor100 Standby mode...

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    Why don't you try to google breathing technique instead and try to find a place with thick Qi. Maybe somewhere around Mt. Tai or Amazon forest. Just go meditating there. If to troublesome, just try meditating under waterfall instead.
     
  18. LysUltima

    LysUltima Riichi! Tsumo! Toitoi! Suuankou!?

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    Remember? Nobody has cauldrons these days. I ain't goin' in to no oven.
     
  19. LysUltima

    LysUltima Riichi! Tsumo! Toitoi! Suuankou!?

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    from the vaseline (i guess cultivation too?)
     
  20. ninja baiano

    ninja baiano New Member

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    Be an eternal dense virgin
    It works wonders for jp wuxia.