Damn, still have the feels. Just how much of a bastard was Xiao Pan to turn his' back on the one who cared, protected, mentored, guided him? Fucking shit, I don't like him. Also hated (understatement... WAS DISGUSTED, FURIOUS AT, RESENTED... and etc.. (fucking slut)) Zhao Ya at first, but when I reread the novel, I kinda hated her again but not as much as before. Anyways its a very good novel. Recommend it too.