Discussion My views on Harem/Polygamy

I've seen so many pro-harem threads full of hopeless losers that are never going to touch a woman. I've seen said people try to justify harem and I've seen people shamelessly make no attempt to justify it. I'm not here to talk about me not liking harems, I'm here to state the clear flaws I find with them. When I refer to harems in this thread I am most likely directing this towards polygamy.

1. UNNATURAL

Harem is unnatural. Nobody is going to be happy having to share their partner with another person(s). In fact, it probably wouldn't feel good just knowing that your partner doesn't see you as their most important person, you're just one of their most important people. Well, I'd certainly feel like crap. Even in Xianxia when people always argue that polygamy is a natural part of the society, it's still unnatural. From all the Xianxia I've read, I've read very few where anyone other than the MC has several wives and in the ones I have it's usually the MC's father that is the only other case. Even more unnatural is how all the MC's other women magically disappear prior to him flirting with a new woman. To elaborate, in the Xianxia I've read, the MC has a stable relationship with Woman A only for Woman A to disappear from the scene, then enters Woman B, MC successfully flirts with Woman B and at some point MC introduces Woman A to Woman B. Both woman get along perfectly. Then Woman A and Woman B disappear from scene for one reason or another, enters the scene Woman C, etc. It's unnatural. If it was truly so acceptable in their society why doesn't the MC ever pickup woman while his other women are present.

2.a ROMANCE

First I'm going to talk about the greatest issue (this is subjective) about harems. The greatest reason I believe people are turned off by harems is the romantic aspect. I can enjoy a good novel with a romantic subplot perfectly fine, in fact, there are some stories with no romantic subplot where I still find myself shipping characters (most notoriously Naruto). A large issue with harems is it contradicts the pairing I ship. When the shipping war was big in Naruto many people argued 'Naruto×Hinata' vs 'Naruto×Sakura'. Regardless of the side, I can say with fairly great certainty that nobody would have been happy with Naruto marrying both woman. When you get emotionally involved with a pairing involving the MC in your mind you alread see that pairing as the OTP. When more girls are introduced, especially when the MC recognizes himself as being in relationships with several women, it's as though your OTP has been trampled upon.

2.b INSINCERITY

This is probably the easiest point to summarize, basically it's insincere, and, a little bit hypocritical. "I love you," "most important person," "never leave me," think of any flowery words you can and they lose their value the moment you start relationships with several women.

I can read polygamy novels, in fact a lot of my favorite novels have polygamy, MW, ATG, MGA, I love them all. I just think they'd be better without it. In my opinion polygamy/harem done right would be when there is no exchange of feelings. The MC doesn't put on romantic airs and the woman behave like actual people and don't accept being treated like collectables. The main reason I've still continued reading MW, ATG, and such is because they were never very never romantic to begin with. I recently started reading a truly romantic novel that degraded to a harem and it destroyed it for me.

Spoiler

Spirit Realm, had the greatest romance I've seen in Xianxia. Author ruined it for me when the MC touched that girl and it formed that inseparable soul connection between them. You may as well have told me that he touched her and she got pregnant, had the same effect anyways. I dropped it.

Thoughts?

 

Lol...

 

OK.

 

Ok.

 

i see new grill! i ship'em with MC anyways~
simple! screw single heroine tag

 

My biggest problem with them is bad writing. I have yet to read a good story that has a harem (highest rating so far is 2 stars). Most have 2D characters and little to no development and the plot is just as bad sometimes.

 

Okay...going out on a limb here but stay with me. Have you.....ever read a non cn harem?

 

tl;dr.
but i can tell you harem exist from the begining of any race....so it's natural....

 

well I never view them as "unnatural" because guess what in the course of history on this planet harems existed. But I do draw the line on timeframe of the novel. Like if its set in "ancient" times then ok but if its modern day then not so much since most societies have done away with multiple wives. Granted to its a status/power thing if a man could afford or is powerful enough to have a few wives not only does it look good on him but the women [specially the main/1st wife] has a higher status then the other women. Only issue I have with harems more often is the size more than 4 seems to big [unless your the emperor of a large country] or large backstory like A Martial Odyssey that harem is something like 30 women but when you factor in 3 past lives and that the normal xianxia rules don't apply [women must be virgins or raped only by the MC] then its ok.

 

You should reread #1 because what you said has no relation to it. And he is talking about how they are formed and how everyone acts like it is fine because that is unnatural

 

counter argument this gonn take a while so i'll make one point a time

1- it's not unnatural, go to animal kingdom and you will find more species with polygamy than monogamy, this come for the best case for evolution.
Example: every female can only produce a certain amount of baby, so each cub should be from the best male around (normally alpha male) choicing any other will lead to an inferior cub.
want example of novel where the woman doesn't disapear will the male is flirting go read Sevens

2a) ther can't be romance in harem??? how is that possible, if the harem member didn't know each other, so it would be one person dating several person at the same time, would you say that there is no romance?? no you wouldn't because that is the same situation that several twins dating each one one of the harem member.

2b) a person can only be as sincere as person is. you wouldn't expect a liar in a monogomal(dont really know if that is how you write it) to be more honest than a harem king than never told a lie in his live.
about those sweet words, "i love you" is exclusive, example i love pizza and coke, this are two things that i love but they don't cancel each other. " most important person " , this come more for depandance, the most important person is someone you can't live without, so unless you belive that there can only be one love in your live and that person is predetermine by heaven, you will lie every time you say it.
finally "never leave me", how and why is this here, never did i heard such a set of word that made think of siamese twins.

Finito
Argument destroy
MIC DROP

Spoiler: final note

I'm bored recommend me a good novel with good harem

 

it's doesn't matter......i'm here to troll because i'm bored....

 

Yep, thats an important distinction. I like reading harems. I also like reading novels in which the mc goes through harsh psychological breakdowns. Do these things reflect the same irl? No.

Nu is filled with fiction and 90% of harem novels are in the fantasy or sci-fi genre. Of course things are going to be different than real life and work out better (or worse if the tragedy tag is your thing) than they would realistically.

Though this isn't an excuse for shitty writing.

 

Not trying to argue but... If you actually look it up Polygamy is the natural disposition for humans based of of archaeological and historical research and context....

As well a LARGE proportion of other species including most other primates being polyamorous. Monogamy only really occurs naturally in specifies with relatively small and dispersed numbers.

Marriage is a human invention and by definition unnatural. It is made to please god not based on any natural evolution of humans...

However to bring it back around to Novels I certainly feel in my opinion that there are some novels that suit harems better than others... For instance ones that do it just for the sake of it in similar situations to what you described in your first point. Yet some Novels like ISSTH I personally feel suit a harem.

Any how just my opinion.....

 

I'm fine with anything as long as it stays fiction, the MC scoring that has boobs (IMO it's fyn) MC score a single pair good, just leave it in the 2D world of imagination

 

OK

 

I'll give you a quote "If you love two people at the same time, choose the second, because if you really love the first one, you wouldn't have fallen for the second." me too i don't hate/like harem cuz GENDER BENDER FTW asslong as it is gender bender i'm fine with everything except futanari

 

My point exactly exactly

That japanese crap is even worse

No, read what I said, that is definitely unnatural, both psychological and statistically

 

Well... In all xianxia/wuxia novels the people that are weak are seem like objects for the stronger to use (woman included). Most of the powerful guys (even in modern times) have more than one girl and there are powerful woman that get their harem too (catherine the great)