If you think your pronunciation is good enough, send proof of you reciting 'The Chaos' correctly first time, and win 2000 nuffles! T&Cs apply The Chaos by Dr. Gerard Nolst Trenité Dearest creature in creation Studying English pronunciation, I will teach you in my verse Sounds like corpse, corps, horse and worse. I will keep you, Suzy, busy, Make your head with heat grow dizzy; Tear in eye, your dress you'll tear; So shall I! Oh hear my prayer. Just compare heart, beard and heard, Dies and diet, lord and word. Sword and sward, retain and Britain (Mind the latter how it's written). Now I surely will not plague you With such words as plaque and ague, But be careful how you speak: Say break and steak, but bleak and streak; Cloven, oven, how and low, Script, receipt, shoe, poem, toe. Hear me say, devoid of trickery: Daughter, laughter and Terpsichore, Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles, Exiles, similes, and reviles; Scholar, vicar, and cigar, Solar, mica, war and far; One, anemone, Balmoral, Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel. Gertrude, German, wind and wind, Scene, Melpomene and, mankind, Billet does not end like ballet; Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet. Blood and flood are not like food, Nor is mould like should and would. Viscous, viscount, load and broad, Toward, to forward, to reward, And your pronunciation's OK. When you correctly say croquet, Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve, Friend and fiend, alive and live. Ivy, privy, famous; clamour And enamour rhyme with hammer. River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb, Doll and roll, and some and home. Stranger does not rhyme with anger, Neither does devour with clangour. Souls but foul, haunt, but aunt, Font, front, wont, want, grand and grant. Shoes, goes, does. Now first say: finger; Then say: singer, ginger, linger. Real, zeal, mauve, gauze and gauge, Marriage, foliage, mirage, age, Query does not rhyme with very Nor does fury sound like bury, Dost, lost, post, and doth, cloth, loth, Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath. Though the difference seems little, We say actual, but victual, Reefer does not rhyme with deafer, Feoffer does, and zephyr, heifer. Mint, pint, senate and sedate Dull, bull, and George ate late, Scenic, Arabic, Pacific, Science, conscience, scientific; Liberty, library, heave and heaven, Rachel, loch, moustache, eleven. We say hallowed, but allowed, People, leopard, towed but vowed. Mark the difference, moreover, Between mover, plover, Dover. Leeches, breeches, wise, precise, Chalice, but police and lice, Camel, constable, unstable, Principle, disciple, label. Petal, penal, and canal, Wait, surpise, plait, promise, pal, Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair Senator, spectator, mayor, Tour, but our, dour, succour, four, Gas, alas, and Arkansas. Sea, idea, guinea, area, Psalm, Maria, but malaria. Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean, Doctrine, turpentine, marine. Compare alien with Italian, Dandelion with battalion, Rally with ally; yea, ye, Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, key, quay! Say aver, but ever, fever, Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver. Heron, granary, canary, Crevice, but device, and eyrie, Face, but preface, then grimace, Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass. large but target, gin, give, verging, Ought, oust, joust, and scour, but scourging; Ear, but earn; and ere and tear Do not rhyme with here but heir. Seven is right, but so is even, Hyphen, roughen, and nephew Stephen, Monkey, donkey, clerk and jerk, Asp, grasp, wasp, demesne, cork, work. Pronunciation (think of Psyche!) Is a paling, stout and spiky. Won't it make you lose your wits Writing groats and saying "grits"? It's a dark abyss or tunnel Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale, Islington, and Isle of Wight, Housewife, verdict and indict. Finally, which rhymes with enough, Though, through, bough, cough, hough, sough, tough?? Hiccough has the sound of cup... My advice is: GIVE UP! Any proof provided must be absolute. I don't even have 2000 nuffles anway.
Well you also have to account regional dialects. They are still the right pronunciation, just sounds different. Ie: tomato (to-may-toe) (to-mah-toe)
Wow that's a lot of stuff i learnt..... Now my probability of being killed by Grammar Nazi's has decreased....
*Raise the White Flags*...I don't even know some of those words....not to mention pronounce.... Though, is this a ploy to record Nuffian's Voice?
Fun to say aloud, but I do not do well with a crowd. With but three mistakes, it'll still take many takes to get right. Now won't that be a sight. I step down though I could take the crown. I bid adeiu as I must go to the loo.
(this is my first attempt at posting a picture, might not work...) Nope, it didn't work https://www.google.co.uk/imgres?img...PuavaAhXlC8AKHXYVAO8QMwg_KAAwAA&iact=c&ictx=1