Chapter 1 - My Life Changed (Partially of a potential story, made as a proof of concept) "Hah~ I'm tired." Currently within an empty classroom, at a certain school. There was a brown-haired kid, who was also wearing a set of winter clothing while at the same time complaining about how the muscle pain he had. By his side was a person of similar age, who had a lighter-shade of brown hair, and was wearing a lighter set of winter clothing. They both had PE for 6th period, the difference between the two was that while the former was tired after running a mile, the other was in much better condition due to him being an athlete. At this point, the athletic kid couldn't stand his friend's constant sighing and replied quickly after. "Then why are you still here Daniel, you do know that the last bell already rang? We should have gotten on the bus an hour ago." The athletic boy commented on his friends carelessness, in which Daniel replies with a; "Eh? AH! Sam, why didn't you tell me!?" Sam looked at his friend with a piercing glare,"We both have different classes, so we always wait - to be continued > _ <
It's nice to see a focus on characterization, though I'd recommend ditching the "ah"s and "ehs". You'd be surprised by how uncommon it is for people to make those sounds in english
......I'll keep that in mind, however, this is a work of fiction, and is not reflected on true reality. Please keep that in mind
I know, but it's a common mistake a lot of people make after reading a lot of translated stuff here. But yeah, this seems really cool so far! Like I said, I love it when the emphasis is on the characters rather than the 'info' to be dumped lol.
Here's something I had to write for English class(which was to make a short story for children, I went overboard. Orz~) ; Insanity Once Dyrus finally entered the classroom, he witnessed the scene of someone getting launched 7 feet away. “Eh?” Confused, he forgot to question the current situation before realizing that something troublesome was happening. Right at that moment, he saw the silhouette of a large fist heading towards his face! ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° ° [An Unknown Amount of TIme Later] After recovering, Dyrus began to inspect his surroundings before deciding on exiting the classroom, after contemplating quickly in his head. Once he reached the open door, he started to notice the horrendous stench. Quickly realizing that the smell was coming from a pile of human flesh, he carefully opened the door to reduce as much noise as possible. After taking a brief look outside, he already felt nauseous. Within the flickering lights, there were a bunch of unidentifiable corpses. While trying his best to hold it in, Dyrus started crawling out the room, and started heading towards the end of the hall. He suddenly started hearing groaning noises, and without realizing it, he started holding his breath. When he finally saw the figure of something at the other end, he saw a weird vibrating ‘thing’ walking. It’s grotesque appearance alone already made him feel the urge to scream(but the sense of fear with being found out quickly erased such an action). It seemed to have not noticed him, and continued to walk away. When he felt like it finally got far enough, he opened his mouth to breath again. He felt cold and realized he was sweating intensely. “What’s going on?” No one could answer him.