Resolved Rejecting a friend without ruining the friendship

Yh i need advice.....
This guy..this guys is the guy whom i became friends with online but he turned out to be my classmate.....


Yh so he's making advances ...it's been a week already...
And i have given him hints such as "you're like a brother to me" .. "bro you are truly a good friend" ...

He confessed to his friend who is also my friend...my friend told me that he told her that he have a crush on me....

And he's so obvious about it ..

Him : i have a crush yaar(dude)

Me : oh?i will set you up with her if you want (i said it as a joke)

Him : what if it's you?

Me : haha..lol...stop dude

Him : *smiley emoji* i don't lie

Me : LOL...Very funny forget it if you don't wanna tell me....bro you ain't getting a reaction outta me

Him : forget it ...anyways *changes the subject*

Yh so he is acting as if i am dense when he is the dense one for not sensing the direct rejection hints...

He started calling me 'dear' recently and i made an excuse that "i don't want you to call me dear cuz it sounds as if my past math teacher is taunting me"
So he just said "okay i will make another nickname for you"


And he's also been using cheesy lines such as "i met an angel ...she was sitting at the front of the class..." Such and such...so i mostly try to avoid these ...


It's not that i want to lead him on....i don't wanna ruin our friendship since we're kinda similar and i have had fun with him and stuff....but that doesn't mean i like him in that way....


So mind giving me some advice on how i can reject him and at the same time preserve the previous fun friendship relationship?


Some of the sentences might feel cringe or so....but these conversations happened in my native language and i couldn't find the exact slangs he or i used so yh...it's 10x more cringe than it should be

Spoiler: Edit

so after reading all the advices i have decided what to do...i am gonna just act dense and give him hints that i am not interested at all and when he confesses or even try i will straight up tell him that I don't want to date anyone till graduation and i see him just a brother and nothing more nothing less and try to make it less awkward for him....and if he still decides to make advances then i am just gonna straight up say that i don't like him and am uncomfortable with his advances so i would appreciate it if he stopped

 

If the prime consideration preventing you from telling him outright your real feelings on the unwanted advances is the preservation of the friendship you enjoy, then let me tell you there's nothing stopping you. I can't imagine many scenarios where you friendship won't change following the rejection nor many where I can actually see it continuing, considering the fact that if the power of rejection rests on you, the impulse to go on as friends rests with him, with not much you can do about it as his emotions are engaged while yours aren't; hence, he might find it difficult going what you innocently think can be reverted to what once was.

 

Can't there be any other solutions?
I know the power of preserving the friendship rest on him...
But there should be other alternatives....
It can't be reverted back to what it was but what if just completely reverts to us being awkward strangers?

 

tat sounds very cringy what he said ewe. Well, it could be cringier so....

 

Stalker material

 

Trust me....i was also cringed when I heard him say those stuff.....

 

Trying to soften the blow or make excuses could work, or it could make things even more awkward, especially if he gets the impression you're pitying him. I prefer the straight talk and therefore, it's what I suggest. But I don't know your friend and I don't know you and consequently can't be relied upon to offer what might best suit your personalities or relationship dynamics. You're on your own, kiddo.

 

There are cringier ones. Like for eg.
Did you sit on F5 key? Cuz ur so refreshing that it blew him away XD

or sth like that.... There are cringier ones, so what he said is still well... maybe dense in crush guy ?

Hm so u see him as bro x.x . Well it's not like i didnt have a similar experience, i even said beforehand not to fall in love or sth, cuz i wasnt the type. Or even into her. Cuz it only works for me if i fall crush over for that person. lol.

Anyways, can u imagine urself in a romantic relationship? in the future? or are u one of those nope no relationship or sth like that.

If he were hot..., maybe give a chance ? XD if i were you? Like start as friends first, and well if he didnt change and u are cringed away by him, yea then rip. I used to think its possible to be friends even after rejecting her, but nope.

 

It's sus that you know even cringier ones..


Yup ...i can imagine myself in a future relationship BUT not with him.

Nope i wouldn't have given a chance either way...

So you're telling me the friendship gonna end? :'(

 

The sooner you tell him, the better. If you can't be direct, ask your mutual friend to talk with him. He's already calling you dear and whatnot. Sometimes silence can be seen as acceptance.

 

I don't quite what i should do in softening the blow....i mean isn't rejection always a no and a hard hit...

I have asked her to talk to him for me...
I asked her to convince him that I don't like anyone and to say it indirectly that i am not interested in him or like him in a romantic way...
And you know what he said?
He said that he also did not like me romantically at some point but started to like me later and the same will happen to me and asked her to not worry

 

I'm not old, but I'm too old for this thread. Regardless, are you confident that he's into you? If so, have you tried forcing out a confession from him, such as directly asking "do you like me that way?", if he answers yes or whatever, just straight up reject him. If he answer no, reply with "oh, good. I'd hate it if you did" or something. It's better than rejecting or pushing him away 'out of nowhere'.

Or you can just try it out and see if it works. Who knows? Maybe you'll like him after getting to know him better.

Also, you can't have your cake and eat it too. You can't reject a person and expect them to treat you completely the same. It's best to avoid such idealism.

 

i know of them cuz i read some novels XD. And i laughed.

Hm kay. I would tell him straight to the face. Though there are some stubborn guys who cant get a no into the brain, Well... most think with their lower half so... No brainer. v.v

Yea likely gonna end, otherwise it will a neverending awkward atmosphere around, maybe not for u, but for him.
Or he thinks ur just shy or sth or just needs some time to getting used to him or sth.
Or he just going gaga and stalk u so yea.

 

I am confident...he couldn't be more obvious..
He tried to confess too today but i just diverted the topic by saying stuff...
As for being with him....i don't want to try it out...like i just can't seem to like him romantically no matter how much I try

 

Then just straight up reject him. You stalling for so long is just building up his expectations and inevitable disappointment.

 

Lol... It totally depends on each person.


If you really want the friendship...I'd suggest continue acting dense, at some point he'll know you are avoiding that kind of relationship.




Ps: I doubt that though, like he didn't get the hint for friendzone...F*** he didn't get the brotherzone! XD he seems to really like you....maybe give him a chance or something, >.> Hey don't blame me... always got to look out for our brothers

Yup for some thats better than blunt rejection.


It's like ostrich hiding its head in sand (ik it's not true)... atleast he won't be shamed to be in contact after it.

 

So i can just avoid him by acting dense right?
Okay this seems to be the easiest one here...i will do that and act super dense...



It's good to hear that me stalling might be actually better than me rejecting him straight up....makes me feel less guilty ^^;

 

Tell him straight and give him a buffer period. Your friendship could recover from this, but not immediatly. He'll need time to sort his emotions out for sure.

Good luck!

 

Run.
In my opinion, this friendship isn't worth saving. This comes from personal experience. Guys who can't take a hint aren't really trying to be your friend anyways.

He's not respecting your boundaries.
If he can't respect you as a person, then he doesn't deserve your friendship. And if he can't respect you as a friend, he's definitely not going to respect you as a boyfriend either, so none of that "give him a chance" stuff.

No amount of good times and shared past is worth being creeped on.
If you really want to stay friends, tell him your feelings.
Just straight up, "Maybe I'm getting the wrong signal here, but I don't like you like that and I don't want to be your girlfriend. As a friend, please stop. You're making me uncomfortable."
Then it's up to him to deal with his feelings one way or another as you've made your stance clear.

Playing dumb just makes him think if he pushes harder, you'll cave. Do you really want to be friends with someone who thinks emotionally manipulating a friend into a romantic relationship is alright?

Communication is key to any relationship, and while it's hard to confront people, don't be afraid to set boundaries and keep to them. You'll be happier in the long run. The pain of ripping off a bandaid is better than letting a wound fester untreated underneath.

 

Hmm you know... he is also a user on this site