I wasn’t sure whether to put this in “Novel General” or “Novel Discussion,” but since it also applies to comics, I thought I’d put it here. One thing I’ve noticed specifically in Chinese and Korean novels and comics is that no one apologizes because it is the right thing to do. Anytime anyone apologizes, even if it’s the main character, it’s because someone richer and/or more powerful forced the person to. (Or, the apologizer did so preemptively out of consideration for the rich/powerful person.) Why is this? Is it just a matter of highlighting corruption among the cannon fodder? Or is it the case in real life as well? I was particularly struck by this when reading Korean comic “Medical Return,” when a certain character seemed to apologize sincerely to the MC for the wrongdoings of his son, only for it to be revealed after the MC left, that it was only because the son offended the MC’s best friend who has a powerful background. Can you think of any instances in Chinese or Korean novels/comics where a character apologized sincerely and without being forced? Have you noticed the same problem in any media from other countries?
They take the act of apologizing as a sign of weakness. Afterall how can the rich and mighty lower their head to someone in a lower position than them? So simply it's a cultural thing, you don't apologize to those below you, but to those above you... Well I also have to say they do apologize to those beneath them if they will suffer from not doing so. I am not saying everyone is like that, just that the culture leans that way. Tho the positive thing is that an apology can be more impactfull this way.
I’ve been told by my boss to never apologize for anything. He was always looking out for me and I trust his advice. What I figure is that when you apologize. Especially when you are in the wrong is unprofessional. I believe because it brings an emotional element into the mix. When we should instead move on and solve the problem. Not who to blame. For instance in a formal letter to the boss or the company. They don’t want apology or excuses. That want results or at least plans of actions. But hey what do I know. Besides in my culture apologizing is a given. So even in formal settings I still apologize because it’s so ingrained in me that it feels like I miss spelled a word and it irks me so much that I have to put it in. It’s become a habit. What can I say I’m a victim circumstance.
I understand your boss' advice and it makes sense! ^^)/ But I also think that it only makes sense in a work environment, like... Apologizing because something went wrong in work is not the ideal course of action because you can instead work on a fix, I think that's the idea... Though it's not like an "I'm sorry this went wrongly, here is our plan of action to fix it" is bad either. I think what baffles Anra-chan is more like how they don't apologize in more casual settings... And I agree with her, admitting your mistakes is the first step towards fixing them.
Alice brings up some good points there. There is only one problem I see. Apologizing in formal seting is not as easy it sounds, since people are mostly used to do so informaly. Yes, I agree there is no problem apologizing in a work setting, you just have to change how most people think about doing so. An apology in a formal seting should go something like this. I am sorry, we did ... . We are currently working on fixing/solving the problem that resulted from our mistake. Here is what we will do ... . To make sure this don't happen again we will do ... . (Something to say they are sorry and the from blablabla) While most people are used to. Sorry, i won't do ... again. (I know I can't make it good again no matter what I say... ) As for why they don't apologize more in casual settings, that should be cultural... Might even be that confucianism played a role in it (I don't know a lot abput the subject, but from the little i remember about it, it should have a role to play, but don't take my words for it). The main reason should be that they value Pride, Loyalty, Respect and Competence. Loyalty and Respect might be the hardest one to see how fits in, but might actualy be one of the main reasons. Since apologizing and saying you are sorry, can be seen upon as disrespectful and lacking loyalty towards someone (eks. Family, Company, Friend group, Orginization, ...). While for Pride and competence, it can be the same as saying, I lack the qualifications to hold my position/jobb. My only source of information is the little i remember from history lesons, novels I have read through NU, and the ocational news/documentary I have seen. PS. Might have mixed other asian states into it.
Aye! This makes plenty of sense! I think the latter case is what Cutter-kun's boss was trying to avoid! ^^)/
Yeah, people have a habit of apologizing that way, so i's better to not do so. But if you can apologize while being profesional, I would say it's better (and something you need to do if it's a public statement).
Koreans do apologize, but for older people to a younger person, they usually don't because there's that kind of elder pride. And especially to someone who's wronged them or proved them wrong, they've got a lot of pride about that. But it's not like everyone's like that, comics aren't real, and although there are people like that, they probably aren't the type able to cause huge problems even if they apologized without meaning it.