Literally whipped this up in like 30 minutes, didn't edit it, and wrote it out on a mobile device. Bite me! It's 1:00 AM! LETS SEE YOU DO BETTER! YOU CANT AND YOU WONT! SO HA! _________________________ Once upon a time, there was an idiot scientist(Scientists are always idiotic. They never notice the obvious things like when a girl likes them, or when messing with the fabric of realty is a bad idea). This idiot scientist was working on an experiment that would theoretically create infinite energy by harnessing the power of gravity and wormholes. He spent years developing a special wormhole projector that would fire a beam of energy that would tear open reality. One day, his good friend told him to get out of the lab for a while, to come and take a walk with her. "Maybe the fresh air will help you think better" Oblivious to everything, the 2 went out for a walk in park that was next to the base. The stupid scientist couldn't get his mind off his work. Space time physicals and energy cost calculations went through his head over and over again, looking for the problem. The good friend bought them both some ice cream. A cheapo Nestle Vanilla Caramel Drumstick for her, and a Firecracker Popsicle for him. Seeing he hadn't even unwrapped his cold treat, she rolled her eyes and snapped her fingers in front of his face. "Leave your brain in the lab and return to reality! Take the day off! No one will mind! You have been inside that lab for three days!" He was not listening, he was staring at the frozen treat currently chilling his palm numb. Of course! He thought. It's not the physics thats the problem! Well, sort of not the problem. If he could over energize a target area to the point where conventional physics stopped functioning... Suddenly he wasn't in the park anymore. At some point during his internal monologue, he had left his good friend and returned to his lab, still clutching the attempt at a casual date by her. He put it out of his mind. There were more important things to do! He stayed late that night and well into the next morning. She hadn't come back after yesterday, but that was fine. During the night he had finished the modification to the machine. A barrier field to contain the heat generated from the supercharging of the local area around the target and an extra set of power couplings were added. 'Time to test it' he thought. He powered up the device and in his sleepless haze forgot to gather appropriate extra staff to take notes or double check safety measures. He was alone with a device that could split the fabric of the universe. He placed a pen in the way of the beam and took cover behind a plexiglass barrier setup for the moment. "Test No. 1 of the device. Aditions since last test will be noted in the attached file..." He was nervous, but to tired to do anything about it. He took aim at the target, a simple magnetic coul that when a block of ferrous metal was passed through would generate power. If the device worked, and he was able to generate a pair of linked wormholes... "Initiating count down..." He waited, his hands nearly dropping the switch that would open the power gate to the device. "3...2...1...." Nearly fumbling, he pressed the button and braced himself. ZAP! ZZZRRRT! The air smelled like ozone and the target area was blackeded. However, inside a perfect circle around the power generation apperatus, a curious thing had happened. The various components that made up the coil were gone. Replaced by pokes of metalic ore and millions of tiny plastic pellets, like those you would see in a factory being processed into good. Puzzeled and excited. And yipped and howled in joy. His machine had done something, he didn't know what, but it would appear as if the components of the coil had be reverted to an earlier state of being. It wasn't a wormhole, and it would still need months of testing to confirm, but he was confident that his machine had the potential to succeed. He already had the cameras going and the experiment setup, so what harm could there be in continuing the experiment to see what else he could do with the device? If the device could return matter to a previous state, what about energy? Does energy also return to it's origional position and state? While wondering how to test for this, he laid eyes on the now not-so-frozen sight of the popsicle given to him by his good friend. Suddenly he wished she was here to see what he did, to see what they did. But also... "It could work..." Placing the popsicle on the concrete pedestal of the test chamber, he quickly backed off and started up the machine again. "Initiating countdown..." When this was all over with, he would share the credit of the discovery with her. She had given him the inspiration, she deserved half the credit. They would go down in history as the inventors of the time machine! Fate however, was not in the idiot scientists favor. The machine started smoking, the barrier was failing. He should have stopped the tests, run diagnostics and gotten a few of his colleagues to come and help him monitor everything... Already everything was heating up. The tempature on the inside of that barrier were hotter than stars, hotter than super Nova's! Equipment all around him started melting. His skin blistered and cracked, it smelt of burnt hair and metal. The doornob was to hot to touch and there was nobody around to save him. "Jenny...I'm sorry..." There was a double flash as the barrier broke down and reality was torn asunder. The lab was vaporized, people on the street outside the building became ash. The night sky was as bright as day when shockwave hit the ocean and kept going around the globe. At the center of everything, the sweet, innocuous treat that had been the cause for this all had transformed. What used to be a puddle of fruit flavored juice with a wooden stick in a plastic wrapper, was now a glowing mass of energy, colors beyond the visible spectrum, and an unmelted popsicle. It flickered between fruit and wood, and vaporized radioactive ash. Time was not supposed to be malleable in this way, the universe rejected it. And slowly as the fires around it died, the Time Popsicle disappeared.
I come here thought it was a popsicles from a weird uncle , seeing no loli around, thank goodness I haven't call the FBI yet.
If you don't wanna call the FBI, tune in next time for "Throwing Knives are dumb, The Cat hiding as a Newspaper/Spoon/Hula Doll, and Twilights Goblet of Fire"