Basically, what I am asking for Isn't really a review of how the story is NOW (I know its still in a pretty rough spot, not to polished), but rather how I might improve and polish it up. The whole goal of this project is to grow as a writer and break down some of that Writer's block and bad habits that don't really add anything to the story. In this particular story, I'm trying to make a story that's based on the common Game setting/RPGlite you see often, but at the same time, keeping those Elements as much background and hidden as possible. So in the end they become a driving narrative, but they aren't a focus of the story like in a lot of other RPGlites. For example, the only stats visible to the MC are HP and MP, while skills and the like are flexible and more open to creative uses than a more system might be. I hope this creates a more flexible and natural story flow, rather than everything just being about numbers or skill levels Thanks in advance for anything you can do to help! https://www.scribblehub.com/series/112573/parasite-king/ https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/32168/parasite-king
This is probably for author section of the forum. Overall, I'll say this, most litRPGs start out based on system then move away from it to background, it's nothing particularly new. You simply want to start at it being in the background from the get-go, right? Easiest way to do that is simply have skills but don't show what the skills actually do and just have the character summarize them. That's what I did for flexibility, I still have a file of the skills % in my spreadsheet but I can allow for tinkering here and there since I never reveal the skills %. Instead I just give other % like passive skills. Of course you don't even need to go that far either. So just have your 3 stats and then have skill names but without giving specifics on them and only names. If you want to move away from skill levels then also you can do Beginner, Advanced, Master, Grand Master of a skill keeping it basic.
ask shem, aliceshiki, raneday (their skills are overlymaxed) about their idea of torturing with osamaru i bet it's gonna be nuf best seller have the characters train it, instead of the usual "found some random treasure, skills get 100xp", can be multiple jobs but pls don't go jack of all trade master of all don't copy cn,jp,kr novels
Hmm, maybe add more to Jonah? I mean, so far he seems like a traumatized vet with a dark past. Maybe try adding more character traits? Like if someone finally ended up coming in the snake's belly and he encountered them, how would he react? But, so far I really like your novel/story, I'm looking forward to more~
*nod nod* that's in the works. I'm already starting to build story boards for 2 other characters he'll eventually meet...orz.. though it might not be for a good while, chapter wise (like 7-8+). I can't rightly think of a way to justify them so quickly in the story.
Really enjoying the style of humor here. Some improvements to make this more interesting in the future would be "using skills in ways they were not intended to be used". It could make for clever fights and quirky characters, and set your novel further apart from mediocrity (which, it's actually really good right now imo). Some probably bad examples I came up with on the spot: An ultra high-level skill that allows you to seal anyone in a nearly unbreakable magic prison- except the person with the skill is a bit of a coward and has made it into their home for safety. It actually looks quite comfortable. Someone with fire skills that literally only uses them to cook the monsters they've killed. A chuuni character who uses a minor illusion spell to make it look like they actually do have an 'evil eye' or something like that. It's not even helpful for combat, just wish fulfillment on a side character's part. They only got it because it makes them look cool, not for any practical use. Yeah, those are pretty poor examples but I hope you get the idea. Keep writing! I'm definitely going to keep up with this story, let me know if you need any help editing.
https://roll20.net/compendium/dnd5e/Tiny Hut#content this speaking of, for our next boss fight, i plan to misuse the tiny hut for comfort loddging as a base of operations in the boss fight. we dont have tank and we rollled the enemies health... it was high.... RIP hopefully clever misuse of spells saves us. i dont want to do the math to make a new character.