What is my sexuality?

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Walter vi Britannia, Jul 1, 2019.

  1. Walter vi Britannia

    Walter vi Britannia Well-Known Member

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    For a long time I felt like I was standing on a very thin border line from where I could become gay, straight, trans, bisexual, or even asexual at any time with just a single push. Although I am straight now, I still feel like it won't take much for me to realize I'm not if I actually am not.

    (My preferences in novels, which is gender bender, don't actually prove anything here because I was against reading gender bender at first too, I just had to break through a mental barrier first to truly love it. I know it'll be the same for yaoi novels since I have a similar but stronger mental barrier against it, but I know I would like some yaoi stuff as much as I like my favorite gender benders because what I do like in love stories are only possible for these two genres, which doesn't have anything to do with my sexuality or whatever.)

    Anyway, the reason why it remained this way for so long and left me confused for so long is because I have never been interested in dating or falling in love. I actually didn't want to. I don't know why, but I really don't want to experience love.

    I brushed off the thought of perhaps being aromantic because I love love stories and also I just felt that aromantic sounds like an asshole concept. But I now realize I more or less relate to a lot of aromantic peoples' thought processes.

    So, what the fuck am I? Is there some name for this confused state of mine?
    I don't want to take any action towards any of these paths because I don't want to be straight, I don't want to be gay, I don't want to be bisexual, I don't want to be transexual, I don't want to be asexual and I don't want to be aromantic. What the fuck do I want!? Why don't I know that? That's what frustrates me so much! (Also, I'm not heading towards pansexuality or furries either...that I'm sure I'm away from.)

    Given this state, I fear I might stay like this forever since I have no desire to pursue either side, which I don't want cause this state of mine sometimes feels horrible. It been like this for quite some time, I realized this very late too, but I've never brought it up online because I didn't know anything definite about it...I still feel the same way. I brought it up now because my emotions are all over the place after a series of events took place that played with my heart a lot. My mind is in shambles and I feel like puking...so I'm focusing on this which I feel is connected to me in a deep emotional way, but not enough to throw me in further disarray. Like, I feel this topic will never truly move me in any way but still a good way to redirect my feelings.

    PS: Reading through this, this kinda sounds like something serious, like those serious LGBTQ stuff or whatever, but I don't really mind. I didn't want it to be serious, I still don't. The serious stuff is what I'm escaping from, and this is what I came to. So no need to be considerate of anything. Plus, I'm usually a really light-hearted and happy guy...just, some things had to happen one after the other...but probably everybody experiences similar things a few times throughout their lives no matter how happy-go-lucky they are (just the timing is really bad that they happened so close to one another).
     
  2. Maid Chan

    Maid Chan [Professional]

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  3. Alexios Blake

    Alexios Blake Well-Known Member

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    Rather than in this kind of place you should talk to a actual doctor. And no I am not saying that something is wrong with you, but a psychologist is more likely to be able to help you with your problem than us simple readers. Though do be careful if they start wanting you to take medicines in this case a second opinion would be good.
     
  4. Walter vi Britannia

    Walter vi Britannia Well-Known Member

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    Lol, I just realized...is everybody gonna try to change my sexuality to one or the other now that I've said I can become anything? Oh god, what have I done!?
     
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  5. Kalto

    Kalto [ Somewhat meticulous ]

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    Hm, I think you are on your own way to make a new gender and a new sexuality :hmm:
    As if there isn't already :blobexpressionless:
     
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  6. unkxz

    unkxz Lurker

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    why does it matter what you are? you like what you like.
    I'm straight and I fap to trap/futa from time to time.
     
  7. Walter vi Britannia

    Walter vi Britannia Well-Known Member

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    Oh, don't worry about that. This is not something that bothers me a lot cause it doesn't overlap with my life at all. Even though it sounds serious, in my heart its something I can completely ignore. (If I couldn't, then I would've found an answer a long time ago.)

    Yea, but now I don't feel so straight anymore.

    I thing there's a sexuality for everything already. I mean, they have a thing for loving inanimate objects. What else do you need?
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 1, 2019
  8. Vanidor

    Vanidor Well-Known Member

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    Identify as Play-doh!
     
  9. GDLiZy

    GDLiZy Forgetful Pale Fairy

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    Maybe you are too cynical to wish for the surreal experience known as Love. I, for one, also wanted to experience love once. Having someone who can understand me is nice. However, I am always a cynical person and could not open my mind to anyone fully.

    Well, learn to live with it I guess, no one can help you except yourself.
     
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  10. Kalto

    Kalto [ Somewhat meticulous ]

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    You tell me
     
  11. Nyann

    Nyann ~SᎪᎠ ᏦᎥᏆᏆᎽ~

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    Tldr but I read Yuri too but I am straight. Feeling of love is really strange and it doesn't just compare to you getting turned on at some sexual media. Don't worry about your sexuality, with time you will fall for someone naturally. Just enjoy whatever you like
     
  12. Walter vi Britannia

    Walter vi Britannia Well-Known Member

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    No, I think I'm completely capable of falling in love. So much so that I believe I can fall in love with either a girl or a guy or anybody, even though I don't have any particular attractions to guys...I just really don't want to. For some reason, I don't want to fall in love. I guess it's just my nature.
     
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  13. Bento

    Bento Active Member

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    Talk to a doc, tell them low sex drive, and see if they will run a test for corresponding chemicals/hormones. It could be you're low on something, and if you are take supplements and see if your outlook changes? It could be that your lack of interest is a result of hormones, just a theory.

    I usually also feel put-off, or repulsed by the thought of dating after a break-up. It usually takes me a year before I'm intetested in dating again.

    And maybe don't focus on finding love specifically. Date someone you can be friends with and date honestly. Don't hide who you are, or what you like, since it comes out eventually.
     
  14. otaku31

    otaku31 Well-Known Member

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    Bro, lay off the gender bender 4 a while... :blobwhistle:

    And see if that works. :hmm:

    They hv this insidious effect of messing with ur head, making u question things. :sweating_profusely:
     
    Last edited: Jul 1, 2019
  15. Adieu

    Adieu Active Member

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    Ask yourself who the last 5-10 people that gave you a PHYSICAL lust reaction looked like and were, find common denominators, there's your type and what you are

    Envious/appreciative glances generally don't count, has to be a bit more than that

    Reading material....kinda depends. Dude reading yuri does not an MtF Lesbian-in-the-closet make.

    Dude reading yuri in a corset while pinching his nipples and mumbling "onee-sama", otoh..
     
  16. Westeller

    Westeller Tony’s special birthday present Staff Member

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    It's easy to twist yourself into knots overthinking it, but I think you'll find that when it comes down to it, you already know what you are. Other sexualities may not be off-putting to you, and you may feel like you can embrace them, but, at the end of the day, they just aren't you.
     
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  17. Walter vi Britannia

    Walter vi Britannia Well-Known Member

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    Yea, that's good advice. But I don't want to bother with any of that.
    What does it mean to be straight, not having attractions to the same gender, but knowing you can possibly fall in love with someone of the same gender depending on the circumstances and who it is?
     
  18. Eques

    Eques ~Butterfly~

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  19. Specter2

    Specter2 Well-Known Member

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    welp the simplest way is to just identify as bi
     
  20. Walter vi Britannia

    Walter vi Britannia Well-Known Member

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    Well, I did actually. There are not many works out there of this genre so I actually spend more time reading other things than this really. I haven't read GB in a while. Also, that's not the cause. Those are not my kink. I don't even get a boner reading GB hentai, I end up focusing on the story. I just like somethings that this genre could provide. And I say could cause a few stories actually chose to not provide those...those I easily lose interest in. (Its a long list of things, anyway, its just a product of gender bender.)
     
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