watching your family break or not remembering your family being whole in the first place? So, i kinda experienced both. I find the latter worse because there are all these unresolved curiosities that you couldn't simply ask and never would ever know. But yah, at the end of the day, it's both the same pain expressed in different ways.
Hmm I think it's watching your family break. Especially when you thought everyone was happy and everyone was fine. It's like knowing how it could have been would make the upcoming ruin more unbearable. I think. *pets pets doggo*
Hmm, the painful aspect of watching a family break is watching the fights. Or hearing snippets of it while they try to pretend to be okay. It's what you see but isn't said that weighs the heaviest. *pets back* I'd say I'm pretty immune to the pain anyway so not an issue. It's just a random question that came to mind since I read a nuf blog about parent fighting.
Is it wrong that I want to watch my family break? I don't mean my mom and dad. I mean that the joint family. Its causing suffering to my mom, she has damaged her spine due to overworking for so many people. Its damaged my aunt's eyes and she is scared that she will go blind. After years of suffering cause family was forcefully made to stick together I want nothing more than to watch it fall apart. For good. So I guess the first option. Or rather having a family in the first place because they are a pain.
No one could judge what is right or wrong in every circumstance because most of them are unique and more uniquely experienced by different people. In your case, the main focus was the extended family. They're the pain. In my case, the extended family are both a pain and a blessing. While sometimes i dislike how meddlesome they could be, i know most of it is from caring lots. Though I had a super bad experience with other extended family, where their personal interest made them sell a property i value a lot in an emotional level. But they're too far to matter, they don't bring me heartache at all.
A Happy Family breaking in front of you would be more traumatizing! Those unhappy moments will forever be a reminder of the tragic past even after reconciliation.
indeed, especially in a very young age. But most of the times, i don't see reconciliation. Or true forgiveness even if the wrong party asked for it.
I also experienced both. Many of my earliest memories are of my parents screaming at each other. They separated when I was 4 and divorced when I was 5. Then I got to do it all over again when my dad and step mom got divorced at 16. There were ways in which the former was harder in terms of my parents never being able to be in the same room without the threat of WW3 arising, and navigating through that was hell, and having to learn to accept two conflicting truths from a young age was hell, but I always thought they should have divorced sooner. Like, I would rather not have been born than these two ill-suited people stay together for as long as they did. So, I think the latter was harder, because I was there and aware and a more active participant. I witnessed the ugliness of the divorce first hand and second hand as it was going on, rather than hearing stories about it years later. I think that divorce was the trigger for my first round of depression. Rather than being an indifferent, confused witness, I took sides, and it hurt. Because I chose the unselfish choice and it meant letting my step mom go before I was ready to.
My family is not currently breaking I say, it's just a conflict between my mom and her siblings and my grandmother. Though they're frequent quarrels it dosen't effect me. As for knowing your family wasn't whole in the first place, I'd say that's less sad as you'd get used to it quickly. So watching your family break is worse.
the former~ it because you know there was time everything is ok, even it just on surface more likely before you now thing around~ it could be worse when everything realy ok then something happen tearing stuff slowly~ it will put you into dilemma which side are you? will you try to fix it, try to save it or leave them tear apart~ for the latter it can make you jelly when see other seem ok with their family~ this cat talking about core family which consists of parent and child~ as for extension well too lazy~
I feel like not remembering it being whole in the first place is better... like, having a lovely decade and a half of a happy whole family is super nice, but when all these fights and threats of divorce start popping up it's like... you're super unused to it and it came out of nowhere and maybe it was better to not have it at all...?
worse bc if watching fam break down, that's like watching all happy/good memories had slowly detoriate in front of you. that can leave a toll for someone pick up pieces or know where to finally decide to leave after all that. versus never know part of those fam to begin with, its a question but so maybe not needed to know what happened in past that made it not whole, focus on present fam that have. i think it depends on latter what you define fam being whole in first place - like dysfunctional or just never knew relative and so and so. never wish any of those to happen, and neither to anyone else either.
I say watching it break~ The hardest part is when you can see everything slowly falling apart and you’re trying your best to keep it together, but it’s like sand pouring through your fingers and there’s nothing you can do to stop it. Just a nice visualization to build upon the pain ^^