Request Write Dumb, Funny, Ridiculous, Romantic, Nice, Nonsense Jokes and Riddles

Write Dumb, Funny, Ridiculous, Nonsense Jokes and Riddles here. Anything you found or think.

A boy walked into his classroom late. "Why are you late?" the teacher asked.
"Because I saw a dead cat on the way to school," he said.
"How did you know it was dead?"
"I PSST in its ear."
"YOU DID WHAT!?"
"Yeah, I bent down and went PSST in its ear and it didn't move."

 

Jabberwocky

’Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

“Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!”

He took his vorpal sword in hand;
Long time the manxome foe he sought—
So rested he by the Tumtum tree
And stood awhile in thought.

And, as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!

One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.

“And hast thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!”
He chortled in his joy.

’Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe:
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

—Through the Looking Glass (Lewis Carroll)​

 

Riddle:
What’s made of rubber, handed out at some schools, and exists to prevent mistakes?

 

Rubber, duh.

 

Eraser

 

Obviously. What else did you think I meant?

 

lmao

 

Did you guys hear about that guy whose whole left side was blown off?

 

You see a boat filled with people, yet there isn’t a single person on board. How is that possible?

 

He's all right now

All the people on the boat are married

 

I talk, but I do not speak my mind. I hear words, but I do not listen to thoughts. When I wake, all see me. When I sleep, all hear me. Many heads are on my shoulders. Many hands are at my feet. The strongest steel cannot break my visage, but the softest whisper can destroy me. The quietest whimper can be heard.

An actor

 

First, think of the color of clouds. Next, think of the color of snow. Now, think of the color of a full bright moon. What do cows drink?

 

Water, don't ask the obvious thing.

 

Ok

 

A woman shoots her husband then holds him underwater for five minutes. Next, she hangs him. Right after, they enjoy dinner together. How is this possible?

 

Totally possible.

first, husband was shoot with water gun.

Second, hold him underwater, husband and wife go diving and wife was holding onto him.

Third, wife ask husband to challenge hang games.

Fourth enjoy dinner together, what aa harmonious couple.

Last, Who use old camera at this age.

 

Antique married couple

 

When you need me, you throw me away. But when you're done with me, you bring me back. What am I?

An anchor

 

OMG, NTR.

 

Heartless