Discussion Your toughts on this family case

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by CDLevit, Aug 15, 2016.

  1. CDLevit

    CDLevit Aspiring water; spark of cynicism; Em&es explorer.

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    Imagine that In a rural area lives a family of four. Two adult and two children. The wife is at her third marriage and has a child (girl) from a previous marriage at a age in the range of 12-13. The fourth member of the family is another girl, made between those who are married, younger than her sister.

    Now, the husband is alcoholic and beats the mother and her child while he dotes on his own child.

    The mother had a poor (or zero) education and was repetately hit by her husband. At a previous time, she ran to her parents, but came back. She isn't employed but is a hard working wife: she plowed the vinyard (few meters), took care of the house, domestic animals (turkeys, goats ...) and is of petite/little stature.

    Now, the older child saied to school: "my mother doesn't love me, my 'adoptive' father doesn't care about me, he gives sweets to my sister hiding from me'. She also was hit and even put, by her 'adoptive' father with her head in the toilet.

    The father is employed and has a relative good economic situation: he build a pretty big house, is employed.

    At some point if time, when the wife was repetately abused - hit and asked for help, a neighbour jumped to her defense but.. He was fined for passing the limits for private property.

    Nowdays, the 'family' still continues. No one made a plea to the authorities, no one denounced/announced the authorities about the situation of that child/mother, about their abuse.

    Now, how do you see this case/what are your toughts on this case? You can 'imagine', explain their physichology, social circumstances, education.. To sum up, your toughs on this subject are?

    1. Why did that woman continue to remain with her current husband?

    2. Why no one made a plea?

    3. What could be the 'motivation' of that 'father'?

    4. What are the possible consequences on the mental health of the mother/children?

    5. If there were to be a divorce, would there be social repercusions?

    And so on.
     
  2. Dusk

    Dusk Monochrome

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    Is this a true story?
     
  3. Elion

    Elion [Fire And Ice's Son] 『WW Follower』

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    I have only one thing to say:The spoiled girl is arrogant ain't cha?
     
  4. CDLevit

    CDLevit Aspiring water; spark of cynicism; Em&es explorer.

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    Yes. I can't give more details as I've heared about it for someone else- i'm not part of that story, nor know those who are part of it.
     
  5. Rickymex

    Rickymex Well-Known Member

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    What's the point of this?
     
  6. doomeye1337

    doomeye1337 /人◕ ‿‿ ◕人\ Incubator, the messenger of magic~

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    1. She's emotionally dependent, typical abuse pattern
    2. ^ + it's a "private" matter
    3. insecurity + other various things
    4. see 1. for mother, for daughter not from hubby, probably tons of mental issues if she even lives to a mature age
    5. There's social repercussions for divorce regardless of situations and circumstances, especially for women.

    You also have to remember it's a rural area, so unless the mother speaks out (which she won't because of emotional dependence), no one is going to put in any effort to separate that family for the sake of the girl who's real father isn't the dad. Other people of the community will simply let it be, and may even be hostile to those who may try to get government officials involved, even if it's for the sake of a little girl
     
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  7. RedKaiser

    RedKaiser [PATH OF HEAVEN] [RULER OF ALL]

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    A normal story in xianxia world..the son need to find cheat and cultivating stronger than get revenge
     
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  8. CDLevit

    CDLevit Aspiring water; spark of cynicism; Em&es explorer.

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    That case is real. That man is really abusive. I don't think that the girl is spoiled. Can you be spoiled with an alcoholic father who repetately hits you, ignore you and dotes on you half-sister? For sure, the man hit the child and her mother.
     
  9. vrooave

    vrooave "act too close to people" they said.

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    this is heavy case but as i can comment

    1st. she didn't have any choices, if she can self sustain herself and her child she would've left
    2nd. a plea? for what? if they are separated the wife and her child will lost their family backbone, will they still survive?
    3rd. it could be trauma, because he was treated like that by his father or something that he saw, it's not motivation it's psychological sickness
    4th. yes, trauma, depression and so on. it will actually do a lot to the children because they still have "future"
    5th. there will be a backslash but it will not matter if they move out from the area, the main concern will still be trauma after all.

    sorry for my bad English :3
     
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  10. elairz

    elairz Well-Known Member

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    i think got an Agency to handle cases like this. not sure if got similar agency at other country though
     
  11. CingirakliCo

    CingirakliCo Well-Known Member

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    whats with that father using violence on his wife next he's going to use violence on children report him to police
     
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  12. Rickymex

    Rickymex Well-Known Member

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    He's talking about the girl who's doted on by the father being arrogant not the one being beaten.
     
  13. Dusk

    Dusk Monochrome

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    This is one of the stories where it truly made me grateful for being in my family. Which is far from perfect but I feel blessed. I really don't know what to say, the mother may/ maybe not that smart but she is hardworking and honest. As for the father..sigh. I really don't get fathers like this, any man who resorts to violence at the slightest of problem earns my BIG disdain honestly. I just hope for the best for the mother and children..
     
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  14. sal880612m

    sal880612m As I thought, love was a status effect! ~ICDS

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    1. It's not all the time. He's just drunk he doesn't mean to do it. Always apologizes afterwards. I can't make it on my own so I just need to put up with it. Any number of reasons from delusionally believing he loves her/them to being afraid/unable to survive without his help to this is what I deserve because I'm so useless/stupid. There are probably more.

    2. There is a limit to what outsiders can do. The neighbor tried to help, but if the woman backed up her husband despite the abuse and he suffered for it, few people will stick their necks out for someone who doesn't want help. Child service should be informed if it that is a thing where it happened but that isn't necessarily something that guarantees getting her a better situation.

    3. No clue.

    4. Compromised sense of self-worth. Twisted sense of gender relations as the girls grow up. Lots and lots of other stuff.

    5. Depends on the area/country, but probably.
     
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  15. Readingaddict36

    Readingaddict36 [Mostly dead]

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    1. I believe there's a form of monetary and mental dependancy at work here. maybe the wife suffers from feelings of minority (no education, repeated divorcement) this believing she deserves the treatment and that she should be the one to carry to the whims of the man.Its fucked up but not uncommon.
    2.getting involved means taking responsibility, one thats hard to carry. furthermore this man seems to have some measure of social standing and be prone to violence, fear of repercussions can be another underlying cause. also the police only takes action if the victim reports and actually persists the accussation, in case of domestic violence they often dont. (a neighbour can alert them but not make an accussation without the wife/daugther) --> its easier too not do anything
    3.hard to say, anger issues often have deep underlying causes
    4.traumatization, inferiority complexes, depression, suicidal tendencies, severe trust and bonding issues. for the child also drug dependency and anorexia or violent outburst later on (when the father is "removed")
    5.yes, sadly the wife and her firstborn would be suffering the repercussions if he's not made paying for injury/abuse
     
  16. DrkStrkr

    DrkStrkr Renowned apostle of Nekomimi

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    no son
     
  17. xTachibana

    xTachibana Wincest King

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    1. Why did that woman continue to remain with her current husband? ignorance and lack of education

    2. Why no one made a plea? bystander effect

    3. What could be the 'motivation' of that 'father'? retardation. jokes aside, he probably thinks he's in the right, so he doesn't need motivation per se.

    4. What are the possible consequences on the mental health of the mother/children? children will grow up without a real loving family, hopefully it doesn't start a cycle....

    5. If there were to be a divorce, would there be social repercussions? the wife would be seen as a whore who sleeps around and has kids with different men, even though she's not in the wrong at all, the husband might be seen as a wife beater, but I doubt it.
     
  18. barashkafromro

    barashkafromro Not well-known member.

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    If someone unreasonably refuses help, beat them until they stop refusing. Xianxia logic.
     
  19. NekoMK2

    NekoMK2 Lazy cat, [self proclaimed GM_Rusaku Disciples]

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    If I must says quite high interesting case here, I not feminist but I believe abused other without reason still wrong thing to do (more over to woman and children) as for your questions
    1.its her third marriage(here no reason or back story for her previous) so it's might be what like @doomeye1337 said emotional dependent plus her poor knowledge at this, another reason the settings in countryside mostly patriarch type
    2.from what I know the organization for women & children protection encourage other to report if know or came across something like this but it back at the supposed victims here since the authority can be screwed and left it is off as "private" matters
    3.hard to says but alcoholics might be reason and the daughter from previous marriage (jealousy) there no reason why mother separate from previous husband
    4. Already answered by @doomeye1337
    5. dependent from where this case come I believed from the country where feminist had strong base the husband while be at fault here but for some society /community the mother/woman who will get repercussions from society
     
  20. barashkafromro

    barashkafromro Not well-known member.

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    As if it is more acceptable to abuse men