from my own first love experience go confess~ yup I failed~ a bad one~ still remember it~ but I feel way better since I know how other side feeling toward me~ yeah it turn awkward since we are classmate and I confess on thursday 11.30 am~ second recess~ we have class until saturday~ lel~ I was on second grade of middle school~ IDK how other member handle it but from my own experience till now I rather tell him my own feeling, selfish? yeah I'm selfish I suggest that cuz once I was too late to say my own feeling that leave great regret for me~
Spoiler: Spoiler There's no correct, nor safe answer. ...every person has his/her own notion/idea about that word: 'love'. If you were to go to this link: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love - you'll see but few possible explanations for that word - 'love'. Even if you were not to be in love with him, the fact that you're thinking about him shoudn't become something for you to feel shy or afraid, that's part of life. As.. most often, my 'adivices' are wrong, I'll try to talk about my situation (experience) and, I must say, take with a grain of salt whatever I and other say. It's up to you to define your choices and to decide how to life. At some point of time, I've met this person in a online form. Things happened abruptly, it wasn't really intended from my part, nor for her part. How did it happen? In my case everything was caused by a lack of experience; a bit of attention from another, a bit of care was close enough for me to develop feelings for that person. Everything came to happen at a moment when I was feeling down and had enough reasons to not believe empty talks from others: - you're great! You're cool! I like you! You're my friend and similar flowery words. ... and, the funny things is that I realized that, in fact, I've falled for the same things, for the same type of words. At some point of time, I've realized that I was just a anonymous person, that I didn't matter - I was nothing special. I've had spend hours thinking about that person, imagining conversations, situations and trying to understand why did that happen, why did I became attached to her. I never trully escaped from that; in a way, everything was in my head. The same thing can happen in real life, you meet a person, that person say sweet nothings to you; you, lacking experience, fall for his/her lies and, sometimes, fall in love with him. In my case, i've tried to talk with that person, to explain my situation. It was interesting because I've had to walk on my ego, to try to 'escape' from those bullshit beliefs that resume everything to concrete situations (internet remains an extension/part of reality). It didn't really work, I never was sure if that was love, attachament or .. just me falling for the unknown. How did I go further than that and remained rational? Well, I've tried to understand that person better and see if I had reasons to wish for more. Yes, I could wish, but, I wanted to see if that was ok with me, if I could endure the consequences that that situation could bring to me and to that person. Realizing that I was in a bad situation, I've tried to distance myself, to ignore, to forget. It didn't work. That was, for me, a torture - imagine, you remain between 4 walls, alone, withouth distractions, only with yourself and your thoughts. You stay there, alone, even if others are with you; you think and think and think and.. at the begining, you play the 'rollecoaster' of emotions. Emotions are like like a black hole that engulfs reason - if you give way to them, they grow and grow and it's hard to control them, to stop them. With time, you familiarize yourself with that situation. You begin to search for answers, to try to look for the cause of why did that happen. In my case, everything was caused by a lack of experience and by sweet words (coupled with a real need for attention&care). How did It work for me? Well, being in the internet form, it was easy to realize that it was all in my head. So, I was the only one to 'blame'. At some point, as I didn't have access to internet, I've began to write; what did I write? My thoughts - I've imagined that I was writing to that person, that I was talking with that person - it was a good exercise for me to explore my feelings and to try to understand that person. I've had the chance to have enough information to begin that. I've wrote and I've wrote, I've explored, I've tried to look at other similar cases, to put myself in the skin of another. There were some results; I've familiarized myself with the situation, I've saw what didn't work, where I've could think more and so on. Time passed and I've had enough thoughts written down. I've compiled them. I've talked with that person and aske if she was alright with me talking with her about that. I've received green light - she was aware of that situation. To her, it was entertaining, to me, it was a nightmare. Time passed and I've realized that, maybe it wasn't love, maybe it wasn't friendship.. maybe it was nothing. What remained behind was a development from my part, I've learned many things from that situation. I've learned that, sometimes, you're your worst enemy. I've learned that, the best way to know if you're on the right way in a relationship (of whatever kind is that) is to ask the other person about what he/she thinks about that. Why? Because a relationship needs two persons to participate. In a way, even tought it may seem that you can take decisions by yourself - if you really take them, that isn't really a relationship as it doesn't work both ways, the other person is just.. a 'mean'/thing for you to satisfy your desires, needs and wants. That's why I've decided to talk about that with her. I was, in a way, pretty lucky to receive understanding and to receive support until I've managed to control myself and don't do something rash, nor excessive. You can say that, in a way, I wasn't really friendzoned as there was no sure thing about the nature of that relationship; even tought, talking with her made me feel happy; her sadness was my sadness. I see love as a personal relationship. Sometimes, you can be egoist, selfish, where you want that person for you. Sometimes, you want that person to be happy, the fact that that person is happy with someone else, even thought it cause you pain, at the same time, you're happy for your loved one (less for his loved one). It's up to you, you're you, others are others. You have two major choices: to not talk with him about your feelings - that would let the unknown to your imagination; you'll speculate and, in a way, your imagination will fill that unknown with 'falsities'. The other choice would mean to talk with that person and tell him your feelings. In that case, that person would be aware of your position and you'll know, for sure, what he's thinking about you. I've choosed to go with the second route. It's up to you to decide what to do. I've did that because I knew that I was the one who caused that and I had the understanding from that person. There are persons who will speculate your feeligns for their own selfish interests. Confesing your feelings towards him doesn't mean that you'll lose something, nor that you'll gain something. You'll exercise your free will and right to choose. In the case that you'll do that, there could be the chance to understand your situation better. Maybe, he was in a relationship just for 'fun'/he was playing around or.. for other reasons. If he were to love you and leave that girl, that doesn't mean that you've 'kidnapped' him, not at all. You've tried your chance, he was the one to decide if he was also loving you. In a relationship, any party is free (should be) to choose when to break up. You can't force someone to be in a relationship (to begin, to continue, to stop). Well, I've talked from a personal point of view. I wish you good luck! http://forum.novelupdates.com/threads/how-many-close-friends-do-you-have.20288/page-4 - here, I've tried to further my understanding towards a similar subject - friendship (go to page 4 to read my posts)
Hmmmm.... you're quite young. Given your age, you don't have very much responsibilities. I will assume, a lot of dopamine and hormones are raging within you to make you feel a certain way. I urge you to take out your feelings from the situation and fast forward your thoughts about your possible love interest. The pros, the cons. Will you maintain a relationship or will this be "just in the moment" type of thing. If in the future both of you could support(financially) a lifestyle or a romantic relationship. If you do not have a good plan. I dont recommend romance, just a family friend sort of friendship. When you grow older, your views may expand.
Ahh, youth. I remember the first time I fell in love. Fuck that shit. It felt good but also sucked ass. You'll forget about it overtime, like I did.
You are fixating because you haven't approached him. Because you are stuck on the image of him, since you keep avoiding him and not talking to him, your mind is just stuck on what you perceive of him. So if you approach him and treat him like whatever, the day dream starts to calm down and reality hits. It is like when you want a new game and are so excited and every time you see the commercial, you are like "can i have it? I want it! When can i buy it?"" Then you get it, you play it for a few days and then get bored. So go approach him little by little so you don't feel too overwhelm and excited. Your dopamine, reward hormone is high,so you need to get some oxytocin to balance out. Then you are cool. Just sit next to him, or across from him, smile, chit chat, and chill. You will be fine, and trust me, the "emotion" will go away when he leaves.
Just let time flow and destiny go its course. Maybe you cant handle it now but it wont get any worse than now.
To people who want to know what happened, the holiday ended, I went back to school, the feeling didn't go away and now my parents are getting concerned. But I'm okay.
... What did you do? What di he do? What did they do? Did something happen? You don't own an answer/reply to nobody.
hee~ good luck~ valentine is near~ IDK what to say since what I got from valentine party is.......... I just realized actually I not really like chocolate I realized it's true third way to gain wisdom is the bitterest that is......... by experience
From my experience, seeing him getting a girlfriend usually makes me give up much faster. (Wow sounds so sad...) Otherwise, either you confess and move on fast (it'll be awkward and I myself will never be able to do it, but who knows? First step is to make him aware of you ) or avoid him and suffer for a few more years(?) Jk, you will probably move on before you know it, unless you hold on to it yourself that is...
Trust me, OP, you're just 15, that ain't 'love' as you call it. The world's much much bigger than you can imagine. A few years later, you would remember this shit that you posted in a site about 'love' and you would laught it off. Well, just to answer your question. You can't pretty do much about it. Just fap away, eat sleep, watch netflix or somethin'.